


Spark and Tinder

by DiscordantMemory



Series: Song of Embers [1]
Category: Senki Zesshou Symphogear
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Light Angst, POV First Person, Scars, Slow Burn, Yuri
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-13
Updated: 2019-06-13
Packaged: 2020-05-02 12:31:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 12
Words: 31,836
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19198861
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DiscordantMemory/pseuds/DiscordantMemory
Summary: A mission gone horribly wrong. A friend lost and a friend wounded. When we sit in the depths of despair, the hand offered to help us stand again is often not the one we expect, but welcome nonetheless.The first part of a series in which Chris and Hibiki have a chance to bond after a very unexpected turn of events.  Takes place shortly after the Lunar Attack (I realize the timeline is messed up a little and I apologize).





	1. Fractured Melody

_Love stories begin in many ways.  Mine began in blood and pain, with the shattering of a melody years in the making…_

 

              “Damn it.  There’s always so many of them.”  This Noise materialization is particularly large, judging from the report, but nothing the Symphogear wielders of Special Disaster Response Division Section 2 cannot handle.  More airborne types appear lately, however, so these encounters have been particularly draining on me, personally.  Section 2’s transport helicopter makes good time, and we would soon be above the outbreak.

              “Just stay focused, Yukine.”  I shift my gaze right, where Kazanari Tsubasa stands.  Head and shoulders above me, her blue eyes watch the city below, never wavering in their conviction.  One of Japan’s top idols, she also secretly combats the Noise with Section 2.  Her stiff, serious personality is frustrating, but I understand Kazanari much better than the idiot standing to my left.

              “No need to get all angry, Chris-chan.  We’ll beat them back like we always do!”  Tachibana Hibiki draws my attention with her outburst.  A few centimeters taller than me, she is exactly what she appears to be:  a student at Lydian Music Academy.  If not for the Gungnir relic fused in her chest, she could be living a normal life.  Tachibana overflows with more positivity and energy than anyone else I know, resulting in her being tiresome and frustrating.  Her gold-brown eyes flit about nervously.  This Noise outbreak occurred in an area where Tachibana’s childhood friend, Kohinata Miku, and a few of the pair’s other friends were spending time after classes ended for the day.  “I really hope Miku is okay.”

              I, Yukine Chris, barely catch her words over the rotor noise.  _Commenting on it will only make the idiot more nervous.  Especially since I lack tact at the best of times._   Falling silent, the three of us observe the city below.  A lack of traffic signals that we approach the outskirts of the outbreak, and I tense, anticipating the battle to come.  Judging from her anxious shifting and tight grip on the ceiling-mounted handhold, Tachibana realizes this, as well.  Kazanari, though difficult to read, certainly noticed, likely before I did.  Our Section 2-issued earpieces chirp as Kazanari Genjūro briefs us on our current operation.  “We caught this outbreak fast, so there could be civilians still in the area.  Be careful and stay focused, especially you, Hibiki-kun.”

              “Ahahaha… You got me.”

              “All of us here at headquarters have the utmost faith in you three.  Good luck.”

              “Haaah… The old man sure likes to meddle.”  My thoughts on this matter are hardly secret, yet I voice them anyway.

              “Can you blame him?”  Kazanari’s focus never shifts, even as she speaks.  “The Commander sends young girls to combat this foe, which is certain death to anyone else, because he has no other choice.”  Having that kind of weight placed on my shoulders unsettles me, but at least I _can_ fight, unlike everyone else.

              “Approaching the drop point.  Get ready, girls.”  The pilot’s voice over the earpieces is our signal to brace.  “Go!”

              Leaping from a helicopter with no protective gear is always unnerving, although the Symphogear system absorbs much of the impact from hitting the ground at terminal velocity.  Three songs sound out, initiating our relics’ transformations.  “ _Killiter Ichaival tron_.”  Ichaival’s initial song soothes my nerves, my relic pendant glowing in response.  Relic energy rapidly reconfigures into armor and weapons, and the three of us hit the ground within moments of each other, one creating a loud crack as she hits the street.  “Oof.”  Ichaival’s design centers around ranged attacks, so it utilizes less armor than Kazanari’s Ame no Habakiri or the idiot’s Gungnir.  I recover from my roll slightly slower than the others, even though Tachibana’s armor still vents steam after leaving a decent-sized crater in the asphalt.  _The public workers must hate her for all the damage she causes._

              Before we can coordinate on the ground, Tachibana charges alone toward the outbreak, Gungnir’s song resounding through the late afternoon air.  “Hey!  Wait, idiot!”  Turning to motion apologetically, she continues her mad dash toward the Noise, singing fiercely.  “Haaah… It’s a good thing she isn’t on Chris-guarding duty today.”  Though I hate the term, old man Kazanari manages to spin it in a way that sounds better: “ _Chris-kun is our main line of attack against airborne Noise, but her back is vulnerable while attacking.  Tsubasa and Hibiki-kun will rotate to protect a valuable member of this team._ ”  Luckily, the idol drew rotation today.

              “Stop complaining.  If we do not hurry, we will fall behind.”  Kazanari’s harsh tone leaves no room for argument.

              “Yeah, yeah.  Let’s go.”  Sprinting after Tachibana, we soon find the idiot engaged with several of the typical ground-based Noise, her martial arts prowess making short work of them.  While I fail to understand why a spear relic is being used in hand-to-hand, having felt the shattering force of her pile-bunker enhanced hits, I know arguing is pointless.

              “Tachibana can handle these.  Yukine, let us move on to the main group.”

              “No need to tell me twice.”  Kazanari and I make haste toward the bulk of the outbreak, the wind occasionally carrying the ashen remains of someone unlucky enough to be nearby when the Noise appeared.  _I really hope that idiot’s friends are away from this mess.  No one deserves this._   Rounding one final corner, we find the bulk of the Noise arrayed before us.

              “Alright, Yukine.  It is your time to shine.”  Her combat training kicking in, Kazanari’s snaps her katana into a ready stance as she scans the horde.

              “Damn right it is.  Just make sure to watch my back.”  Disengaging my bracers to form Ichaival’s signature crossbows, I let loose an opening salvo as Ichaival’s song surges through me.  The gathered Noise turn to meet the new threat, and the next several minutes erupt in chaos.

              Clearing the closest ranks of charging Noise gives me breathing space, and I switch to the quad chain guns of Billion Maiden, the idol’s sword-rain ripping apart several Noise attempting to take advantage of my brief opening.  Normally, whoever is not on Chris-guarding duty would keep the Noise in front occupied while I set up, but, lacking Tachibana’s presence for now, Kazanari and I must improvise to keep our foe at bay.  My weapons finish reconfiguring into my anti-Noise weapon of choice with a heavy slam, and I turn my attention skyward.  While not the most accurate option, these guns allow me to cover a large area, denying airborne foes a clear approach vector.  Bracing against the recoil, I open fire.  My arms shake under the sustained fire, but Ichaival assists in keeping my aim steady.  While the roar generated is impressive, I feel Ichaival’s song resonating in my throat.  _I’m probably singing about something crazily destructive again.  I’m not_ that _violent of a person, am I?_

              Ichaival chews through the unwitting airborne Noise before they manage to identify the threat and move against me.  Blue flashes and carbonizing Noise in front tell of Kazanari’s efforts to protect me from all sides, though the effort must be draining.  My focus occupied by the maneuvers of my flying foe, keeping track of the ground forces is difficult, so I appreciate her consideration.  _Wherever that idiot is, she needs to get here fast._   Between brief breaks in gunfire and Ichaival’s song, I hear the idol covering me.  Ame no Habakiri’s song is pretentious as ever, sung in her low, rich voice that doesn’t match her tall, slender frame.  Movement pulls my momentary loss of focus back, and I curse at allowing my mind to drift.  _Too slow; shit, this is going to hurt._   A group of airborne Noise flanking me close fast.  I desperately turn to meet them, but, before I can fire, the entire group disappears as a crackling arc of blue energy obliterates them.  I give Kazanari an acknowledging nod, which she returns before resuming her task of keeping the Noise off me, sweat dripping down her face and from the jaw plating of her armor.  The massive blade she now swings cleaves through several Noise at once, but its weight forces her swings to be slower and wider.

              Returning my attention to the skies, I realize that Kazanari’s focus is now consumed by the enemies circling behind me, and I no longer have the support of her sword-rain in front.  Gritting my teeth against fatigue, I launch a salvo of Mega Deth Party rockets into the encroaching ranks of the Noise, blowing apart several tight clusters at once.  Though doing so slowed their advance, we would soon be forced to fall back if nothing changes.  _Where_ is _that idiot when you really need her?  We can’t keep this up forever._   Sweat beads on my brow, running down my face as the battle progresses.  I keep rounds flying, periodically clearing ranks of the ground forces with rockets as the idol’s fighting becomes more desperate, leading to her effective, though insane, spinning handstand, leg blades extended to clear clusters of Noise.  _I don’t know how she doesn’t get dizzy doing that._   Mentally cursing Tachibana, I ready another salvo of rockets, likely my last without falling back to rest.  Just before I trigger the launch, the street before me ruptures, throwing the approaching Noise away from me.  _Yeah, the public workers_ loathe _her._

              Sprinting onto the scene, the team idiot’s hands move in our team-developed sign language.  “ _Sorry that I’m late._ ”  She receives a burning glare from me, and grins sheepishly before diving into the fray.  What Tachibana lacks in reach and finesse, she makes up with sheer destructive force.  The air forces have taken significant damage, so I have more freedom to observe the idiot as she fights.  Her sure, fluid motions speak of intense practice and a fair amount of experience, though how she managed to improve so quickly from our first encounter still baffles me.  Tachibana flows from stance to stance, reflexively dodging and repositioning, her armored fists and boots demolishing every foe they strike.  Periodically, she slams a gauntlet back into her signature pile-bunker, never interrupting her flow, and her next punch rips through several Noise in a line behind the initial target.  Seeing that causes me to wince reflexively, since I know how much power those enhanced strikes carry.  A tell-tale crack resounds through the brief silence of my guns, and Tachibana is suddenly elsewhere, Noise carbonizing behind her.  Though Ame no Habakiri focuses on mobility, Tachibana’s configuration of Gungnir allows her to be much faster than Kazanari for a moment, thanks to her boots’ rail system and armor jets, which only adds to the force of her strikes.

              The lack of dreadnought presence lowers the difficulty of this fight significantly.  Destroying those airborne monstrosities falls entirely on my shoulders.  Though my control of Ichaival’s excess energy is improving, charging Mega Deth Fuga while maintaining my attack is exhausting.  I have another technique in progress to destroy dreadnoughts and a _lot_ of other Noise at once but have not perfected it yet.  The skies clear, and Kazanari shifts to help Tachibana clear the front, since she seems to be fond of destroying public property when she fights as point.  Lacking an easy method of assisting without hitting the other two, I lower my guns, breathing hard, my ash-blonde hair sticking to my sweat-soaked face and neck.  Ichaival is terrible in practically all close combat scenarios, so I am stuck watching the back as the melee fighters split up to sweep for Noise stragglers and human survivors.

              Disengaging one set of guns, I attempt to wipe some of the sweat from my face.  _I’m really going to enjoy washing this off when I get back._   My breath stops as my eyes register movement:  an airborne Noise, diving towards the area I last saw Tachibana heading for.  If she is still armored in Gungnir, then she can take the hit.  If she is unarmored, or found a survivor, events could play out very, _very_ badly.  I ready my remaining set of guns too slowly, losing line of sight.  No other movement follows, so I release a relieved sigh.  Confident that one Noise is the only one I missed, I leave the matter in the idiot’s hands.  While certainly not the brightest person I know, she has good instincts, and is fiercely protective.  _She’ll be alright._   That thought shatters as a scream of disbelief transforms into one of distorted, agony-filled rage.

              I only experienced the raging energy coming from Tachibana’s location once before, when she was struggling against Durandhal as we faced Finé.  What I feel now dwarfs the brief glimpse I had back then.  “Yukine!”  Kazanari’s desperate cry snaps my attention on her as she flies past.  “We have to help her!”

              Exhausted, I struggle to keep pace, yelling questions as we run.  “What happened?  What is this energy?”

              The idol’s grim expression speaks volumes.  “Tachibana lost her hold on herself.”

              “What?  That doesn’t make any sense!”

              “I only saw it once before, when you died trying to stop Kadingir.”  _Oh, no._   I only heard about this well after the fact.  Both Kazanari and I owe our continued existence to Tachibana.  She somehow resurrected the two of us using the miracle of the Symphogear systems’ X-Drive.  The events leading up to that point are the stuff of nightmares.  Consumed by Gungnir’s rampaging energy, Tachibana was an uncontrollable entity of pure destruction fueled by rage and pain.  She even injured Kazanari before the idol subdued her.  Having died shortly before, I never saw any of that happen.  “If this is happening again, I fear the worst.”

              Rounding the final corner, my breath stops short.  Tearing through several Noise is something that cannot possibly be the joyful idiot I have come to know.  Pitch-black and screaming in incoherent, animalistic roars, she tears the Noise apart with her hands.  Her fingers had become claws, and she simply attacks.  No intelligence drives this being beyond animalistic instinct, and it is terrifying to behold.  _She needs our help.  We_ must _save her.  I can’t bear to see her like this._   Ignoring that last thought, I call out to the entity as she tears the last Noise in half.  “Tachibana!  How could you be so weak to let this happen to yourself?”  I barely catch Kazanari’s startled look as Tachibana turns to face me.  My blood freezes as her burning red eyes focus on me.  Roaring, she launches herself at me.

              Blue hair and armor fill my vision as Kazanari blocks Tachibana’s leap, the idol’s voice carrying over the clash of blade and claw.  “Keep talking to her!”  Shoving Tachibana away buys her a small amount of time as the idiot recovers from her tumble.  “Ichaival cannot hold her off this close, but _I_ can!”  Kazanari readies herself as Tachibana roars once more.  “Please, keep talking to her, Yukine!”  _What do I even say?_   My mind races as Kazanari and Tachibana clash once more.  _She’s so fast like this.  Is it Gungnir at work?  No!  Focus!_   Exhausted as she is, Kazanari’s time is limited.  _Think!  What matters most to…  That’s it!_   “Yukine!  Please!”  That cry carried desperation, so I brace myself for whatever comes next.

              “Tachibana!  What about all the people you care about?  What about saving those in need?  Helping those you can when you can?  What would Kohinata Miku think of you like this?”  Tachibana roars in pain at my words, knocking Kazanari away.  The idol hits the ground hard, and will likely not recover quickly enough, forcing me to face Tachibana alone.  _Shit, this is bad._   Bringing my arms up, I intercept Tachibana’s leap with Ichaival’s armored bracers as she slams into me.  As I hit the ground, I lever my legs upward, throwing Tachibana a couple meters behind me.  The consumed wielder hits the ground hard, not expecting the added momentum.  The old man insisted that I learn some extra self-defense, and it appears that will pay off.  Fighting Tachibana is outside my capabilities, due to Ichaival’s limitations and my exhaustion restricting my effectiveness in close quarters.  What I _can_ do is buy time for Kazanari to recover, or, less likely, for a team from Section 2 to arrive.

              Turning as I regain my feet, I barely dodge Tachibana’s attack, her claws passing mere centimeters from my stomach.  _She’s so damn_ fast.  With my adrenaline flowing again, I can ignore some of my fatigue.  That buys me time, but not much.  Kazanari said to keep talking to her, so I call out as I assume a defensive posture.  “Hey, idiot!  Aren’t you better than this?”  Sidestepping a swipe, I utilize Tachibana’s momentum and lack of tactical focus to shove her past me.  “Think!  Focus!  You overcame this darkness before, so I know you can do it again.”  Swipe.  Sidestep.  Shove.  _Did she recover faster that time?_   “You might be an idiot, but you’re stubborn as hell when it really counts!”  Tachibana’s next attack forces me to dodge back, costing me my advantage.  _Shit, she’s learning._   Managing to catch her wrist on her next attack allows me to lever Tachibana away from me.  Utilizing that momentum, Tachibana spins, bringing her other arm around in a backhand.  Blocking the blow with my right arm, I hear a crack, followed by searing pain.  _Oh, shit!  It hurts so much!_   I require a few seconds to sort through the pain and register my broken arm, and those few seconds cost me the fight.

              I dodge back from movement in my peripheral but am too slow.  Tachibana’s claws find purchase, raking across the left side of my face, barely missing my eye.  The scream of pain I suppressed finally breaks free.  I fall to my knees as my good hand reflexively tries to staunch the bleeding.  Tachibana’s follow-up tears my flesh open from my right shoulder down onto my chest.  _I’m going to die._   My one open eye searches out Tachibana.  “Hibiki, please, no.”  My words surprise me, but Tachibana freezes.  _Is it her name?  It’s worth a shot._   Grinding my teeth against the pain, I speak once more.  “Hibiki, please!  Think about what you’re doing!  You’re fighting against those you care about, trying to kill your friends!  Focus!”  I can practically _see_ Gungnir’s energy begin to stabilize.  I keep talking, fighting through my own pain to remind Tachibana of who she is, why she fights.  My vision grows unfocused, and I feel lightheaded.  Ignoring it, I keep my words flowing, encouraging her.

              _That’s all I have.  I hope it was enough._   Unable to focus further, I fall back, exhausted and in pain.  “Chris-chan!”  Strong arms catch me, and a voice filters through the haze as my fatigued mind struggles to focus my vision.  Tachibana’s face gradually appears before me, tears streaming from her eyes.  “Chris-chan!  Please, stay with me!  Don’t die!”

              “Idiot.”  I put as much force as possible into my weak voice.  “It’ll take more than that to kill me.”

              “Chris-chan!”  No longer holding back, Tachibana pulls me close as she begins weeping.

              “That was a close call, Yukine.”  Though I shift my gaze as much as I can, Kazanari is outside my field of view in this position, restricted by my bleeding wounds and Tachibana’s arms supporting me.  “The Commander is coming with a medical team, so you will survive, at the very least.”  The idol enters my line of sight and kneels, examining something near the disturbed remains of a Noise victim.  Her body stiffening, she quickly stands, moving to my right side, behind Tachibana.  She motions for silence at my questioning look, so I nod in understanding.  She holds a card up to my eye:  a Lydian student ID.  The girl in the picture is pretty, her dark hair tied loosely with a ribbon.  The photo and student’s name cause my eyes to widen, and Kazanari motions once more for silence:  Kohinata Miku.  Now the idiot’s rampage makes sense.  Her childhood friend is gone, taken by the Noise.  Still weeping, Tachibana holds me close, her sobs echoing in the empty street.


	2. Dissonant Interval

_There are times when the notes do not align well.  This is either a purposeful misuse, or an accident caused by inexperience…_

 

              _Now this, right here, is going to be a pain in the ass._   The bandages crossing my chest effectively immobilize my right shoulder, while my right forearm and most of my hand are in a cast, supported by a sling.  A glimpse of myself in the mirror reveals that only one of my light violet eyes is uncovered and usable.  Covering the left half of my face is a partial mask, with an eyepatch underneath to assist with comfort.  Both sets of wounds required stitching, not to mention my broken arm, so, after receiving a field dressing to staunch the bleeding and splint my arm, I was flown back ahead of Kazanari and Tachibana.  Having passed out mid-flight, I only recently regained consciousness.  The report I receive from the medical staff is less than thrilling.  “You’re basically saying that, not only will I have to function for the next several weeks with only my non-dominant hand, which is on a side of my body that I can’t really see, but I will also have permanent scarring?”

              “I am afraid so.”  The doctor in charge of Section 2’s medical team wears a grim expression.  “We have never treated wounds directly caused by Symphogear relics before.  It appears that the body’s natural healing is disrupted.  With proper care, the scarring can be minimized, but not avoided entirely.”

              Sighing, I lean back onto the inclined bed.  _That idiot owes me for this._   My mind wanders as the doctor speaks, but one thing he says pulls my attention back.  “What did you say?  I missed it.”

              “We are keeping you under observation for a few days, just to be safe.  Unfortunately, you will miss the memorial service that Section 2 will hold for Kohinata Miku-san.”  _Ah.  That’s right._   Kohinata Miku became a provisional member of Section 2’s support team, based out of Lydian, after being involved in too many Symphogear-related incidents.  It makes sense that Section 2 would hold a private service, away from the public eye.  Doing so also avoided explaining why a group of random, non-Lydian affiliated adults would show up at a high school girl’s memorial service.  _Will that idiot attend only one, or both?_   I will certainly miss the one held by Section 2, but do I dare try to attend the one her family will hold, if it is public?  My condition will stand out, and it might be better if I simply avoid it.  I let that line of thought die.

              I was not close to Kohinata, only meeting her once before being reintroduced through Tachibana.  Kohinata was a very kind person, with a vast amount of patience.  That part of her likely stemmed from years of dealing with Tachibana.  Though it is difficult to imagine going, I regret that I likely will not attend at least one service.  Kohinata helped me out when I was in trouble, so I owe her at least that much.  _I suppose I can have the idiot show me to her grave.  That way, I can give proper respect, at least._

              I spend the next three days under observation, where I quickly grow frustrated with my lack of coordination.  Using only my non-dominant hand is difficult, and my depth perception is less than ideal.  I spilled a decent amount of food the first day, even while using Western utensils, and I still run into and trip up on many obstacles by the time I am released.  I counter being half-blind by walking close to any walls or railings, left hand outstretched to guide me.

              While returning to my dorm room, I spot Kazanari leaning against the wall across from one of the rooms, wearing a grim expression.  She waves me over once she sees me.  “What are you loitering here for?”  I jab at her to vent some of my frustration with my predicament.

              “Tachibana has not left her room for the past three days, and she will not respond to anyone.”  Sighing, she adds “Even the Commander tried to get through to her.  Tachibana ignored him as well.”

              “Even the old man, huh?”  Old man Kazanari is Tachibana’s martial arts instructor and someone she greatly respects.  If _he_ was unsuccessful, her condition is serious.  _Can’t really say that I blame her, given what happened the other night._   Tachibana owes me, however, so her hiding is unacceptable.  “I may have to try, myself.”  I lightly touch my bandaged face with my free hand.  “That idiot isn’t getting away with this for free.”

              Sighing, Kazanari pushes off the wall.  “Do what you want,” She gives me a pointed look, “just do not make her cry, Yukine.”

              “Any more than she already has, you mean?”

              “Oh, you _do_ understand.  That is good.  I wish you luck.”  I soon find myself alone in front of Tachibana’s door.  Kazanari has a point.  I must proceed carefully to avoid destabilizing Tachibana any further.  I hesitate, waiting until I have a plan in place before knocking.  No response follows, of course, so I wait a short time before knocking again, this time calling out through the door.

              “Hey, idiot!  I think you have something to say to me!  You can’t do that by hiding in your room.”  I hear movement, followed by a thud, causing me to roll my eyes.  _Uncoordinated as ever._   Another short wait, and the door cracks open, Tachibana peeking out from behind it.

              “Chris-chan?”  Her voice is quiet and hesitant.

              “Who else would it be?”  I keep my bravado going.  Maintaining my normal behavior should help Tachibana.  At least, that is my hope.

              “I thought that you wouldn’t want anything to do with me.  I hurt you so badly…”  Tachibana’s eyes become downcast at the memory.

              “Idiot.”  She wilts, and I remind myself to ease up on my natural blunt manner.  “It’s exactly _because_ you did this that you can’t hide from me.”  I lightly touch my bandaged face once more.  “You should take responsibility for your actions.”  Phrasing it this way is harsh, but I see few other options.

              “I’m sorry, Chris-chan.”  Tachibana retreats further behind the door.  “I think it’s impossible right now.  Without Miku here…”  Tears well in her eyes, and I mentally kick myself.  _Way to go, me._   Scrambling, I blurt out the first fallback plan that comes to mind.

              “Then let’s make a deal.”  Tachibana’s eyes narrow in confusion.  “Call it a trade, if that sounds better.”  Now that I have her attention, I should try.  This plan may not work, but it _is_ a fallback that I have in mind.  “To be honest, being like this is really difficult.  I drop and spill things constantly, I run into furniture, and I even ran into a door frame once already.”  Tachibana giggles quietly when she hears that.  “Hey!  I’m being honest here, and you’re laughing at me?”

              “I’m sorry, Chris-chan.  I couldn’t help myself when I imagined it.”  Her eyes grow a little brighter, but I give her a short glare for good measure.

              “What I am saying is that I could really use your help with… a lot of things.  In exchange, I will listen if you want to… talk…”  My determination falters as tears appear in her gold-brown eyes once more.  “You know what?  Forget I said anything.  It was a bad idea anyway.”  Turning to leave, Tachibana’s firm hold on my left sleeve stops me.  “What is it?”

              “Chris-chan, you really are kind.  You are trying to help me, and I’m making this really hard on you.”  Heat rises in my cheeks as I become embarrassed.  Much to my dismay, it is only at times like this that her intuition is so sharp.  As I turn away to hide my blush, Tachibana quietly continues.  “I was afraid that you hated me for what I did, so I hid from you.  I hid from _everyone_.  The fact that you are here talking to me is encouraging.  Especially since Miku is…”  She will break if she keeps forcing herself.  No longer caring if she sees my embarrassment, I turn to face her.

              “Stop right there.  You won’t do yourself any good if you force it and break down.”  Tachibana nods weakly as she wipes tears from her cheeks.  More continue to spill from her eyes as I resume speaking.  “You don’t need to answer me right now.  Think about it.  I will stop by tomorrow on my way to the medical wing.”  Nodding her understanding, she retreats into her room.  Releasing a partially held breath, I carefully continue to mine, left hand outstretched to guide myself.

              Morning finds me in a foul temper.  My sleep was restless, and my wounds itch under the bandages.  Washing thoroughly with only one hand is difficult, and I feel dirty from the day before.  Unlike most of Lydian’s students, I lack an assigned roommate, likely due to old man Kazanari’s influence, to help me feel more comfortable.  Normally, I appreciate the solitude, however, my current condition is difficult to handle alone.  _I wasn’t lying when I told that idiot I could use her help._   Getting dressed using one hand takes time, and my bandaged chest restricts what I can comfortably wear underneath my Lydian uniform.  My right sleeve hangs empty, an obvious reminder that I am, essentially, crippled.  Grabbing my class materials, I head out.  _I’m so glad that today is a half day._

              My appearance startles everyone, of course.  I was discharged from medical in the evening and missed most of the other students.  My class’ homeroom teacher explains that I had a bad run-in with a wild animal, but the incident is contained and there is no further cause for concern.  _I suppose that’s the best story to go with, given how my scars will probably look._   The school needs to avoid the truth:  that my injuries were caused by a fellow student, consumed by grief and classified technology.  The story won sympathy with my classmates, generating a few offers to help by taking notes and performing other small tasks that are difficult for me.  I hate relying on others but would prove myself a fool if I refused.

              After classes end, a couple of my classmates offer to walk me back to the dorms.  I lie, saying that I am meeting someone already, and promptly slam into a desk.  Attempting to mask my embarrassment, I flee as quickly and carefully as possible.  To my surprise, my lie becomes truth due to Kazanari’s presence outside my classroom.  “Well, if it isn’t the idol.”  _I hope she didn’t see that._

              “Yukine.”  Kazanari ignores my blatant disrespect for an upperclassman.  “Allow me to walk with you for a little while.”

              “I appreciate it.  Mind if I walk next to the wall?”  The idol nods, and we set off toward the dorms.  “What possessed you to wait for me?”  Kazanari rarely goes out of her way meet me, so I burn with curiosity.

              “I heard you were scheduled back in medical today, so I thought I would escort you.”  Kazanari’s eyes remain focused forward as she speaks.

              “That isn’t anywhere near the whole truth.”  Kazanari’s sigh proves me correct.

              “I also want to know how it went with Tachibana last night.”  The idol’s concern for her friend seeps into her voice, slightly coloring her tone.

              “Why don’t you come along, and ask her yourself?”  Concern mixes with confusion, but Kazanari follows quietly.  After making a brief stop to drop off my things, we continue to Tachibana’s room, Kazanari’s concern growing more apparent as we approach.  Though I hesitate for a moment outside Tachibana’s door, I quickly knock, calling out, “Hey!  You still alive in there?”  Kazanari’s disapproving look lasts only a moment.

              Tachibana’s door opens, revealing a very awful looking idiot.  Her light brown hair and her clothing are in disarray, her eyes red and swollen from crying.  Likely, she was up all night in addition to her fragile emotional state.  “Tachibana!  Are you alright?”  Kazanari’s voice and movement startle Tachibana, who reflexively hides behind her door.

              “Chris-chan and… Tsubasa-san?”  The idiot is surprised, and confused, by Kazanari’s presence.

              “Yeah.  Never mind our blue-haired worrywart, you look terrible.  Are you well enough to talk about my proposal?”  Several moments pass in silence before Tachibana softly shakes her head.  “I see.  It can’t be helped.”  I motion Kazanari onward.  “I’ll check back later.”  Once more, I am held back by Tachibana’s firm grip on my empty sleeve.  “Hmm?”

              “I don’t have an answer for what we talked about, Chris-chan.”  Her voice is quiet, as if she fears that her words will disappear into the air between us.  “Not yet.  I _do_ want to go with you today, if that’s not too much to ask?”  _Well, that’s progress, at least._

              Giving Tachibana an exaggerated sigh, I call after the idol.  “This idiot says she still wants to come with us.  Can you help her look more presentable?”  Kazanari practically flies back to us as she gives her affirmative.  Several minutes later, the door opens to reveal a less disheveled idiot and a subdued idol.  Tachibana’s eyes betray her night spent crying, but at least her clothes and hair are in order.  Kazanari’s expression worries me, so I wave her over, quietly asking what bothers her.

              Kazanari keeps her words quiet, as well.  “Tachibana shared this room with Kohinata.  Many of her personal belongings are still here, and I worry that it is having a negative effect on Tachibana.”

              “I see.”  Kohinata’s personal belongings likely would not be collected until after her family’s memorial service.  Until that time, Tachibana is surrounded by constant reminders that her childhood friend will never be returning “home”.  _That’s tough._   “We can’t do anything about that right now.  Let’s go, before the idiot gets suspicious.”  I wave Tachibana over, and she immediately clings to my empty right sleeve.  With Kazanari’s guidance, the three of us make our way to Section 2’s medical wing.

              The idol parts ways shortly before medical, leaving me alone with Tachibana.  I look over my shoulder at the team idiot.  She was quiet for the entire walk and has yet to release my sleeve.  “You still alright?”  A nod.  “You don’t have to come with me, you know?”  I receive a head shake in reply.  “Suit yourself.”  I enter the medical wing, Tachibana silently in tow.

              “Ah, Yukine-san!  Good, you made it.”  The aide notices Tachibana trailing behind me and bows apologetically.  “My condolences for your loss, Tachibana-san.”  He receives a small nod in return, and I quietly release a held breath.  The _last thing_ I need is Tachibana having a meltdown in public.

              “Can we get this over with?  I have things I need to do.”  I keep my attitude as usual to mask my concern.

              “Unfriendly as always, I see.  I suppose that is good in its own way.”  The aide shows us to an empty room before leaving to notify the medical staff.  Alone with Tachibana, many questions arise.  I settle on one that seems the least likely to trigger an emotional breakdown.

              “Why did you want to come with me today?”  This question burns in my mind.  Tachibana has no answer regarding our... trade… so why would she insist on involving herself like this?  Silent moments pass before she responds.

              “I want to see how badly I hurt you.”  Tachibana’s eyes linger on my face and the small section of bandaging visible under my clothing.  “It’s my fault that you ended up like this, Chris-chan.  I need to see.”  I chuckle in response, and confusion paints the idiot’s expression.

              “ _I_ don’t know how bad it looks.  You will have to let me know how it is.  Deal?”  She nods.  The attending nurse enters the room, cutting our banter short.

              “Yukine-san, we will be replacing your bandages and applying some basic disinfectants.  I will also be checking for any unforeseen complications regarding Symphogear related injuries.”  She smiles warmly and adds “We are confident that there will be nothing of the sort, so you can relax, Tachibana-san.”  Until that point, Tachibana was fidgeting nervously, though the nurse’s reassurance has a noticeable effect.  While visibly worried, Tachibana sits a little calmer.

              _She shouldn’t be wasting so much energy worrying about me… Wait._   That contradicts what my “trade” entails.  Why do my thoughts go against my own suggestion?  I have little time to dwell on the many questions that arise.  After asking me to hold still, the nurse begins carefully removing the partial mask on my face.  The material sticks to the wounds, but the following contact with fresh air is blissful.  I blink against the light after the eyepatch is removed, while Tachibana gasps.  “Chris-chan…”

              “That bad, is it?”  _It must be_ bad _if she’s having that kind of reaction_.  Casting my gaze in search of a mirror, I find one, only Tachibana blocks my view before my mind can process what I see.  “Hey!  What are you doing, idiot?”  Irritation bleeds into my speech, yet Tachibana remains in place, firmly shaking her head.

              “I’m sorry, Chris-chan.”  Her eyes fill with tears.  “I can’t let you see yourself like this.”  She hides her face in her hands as her tears begin to fall.  “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”  _Damn it.  I wanted to avoid something like this._   Working my free hand around hers, I pull her face up to meet my eyes.  “What…”

              “Take a good look, Tachibana.”  Confusion dominates her features.  “You won’t let me see my own face, so I’m relying on you to remember what I look like right now.  Remember, and become strong enough to ensure that it doesn’t happen again.  Understood?”  She nods.  “In return, I won’t look until the wounds no longer need to be covered.  You will have to be satisfied with that.”  Releasing her chin, I turn away from the mirror.  Although concerned, the nurse wears an amused smile.  _Damn, I forgot she was here._   I hastily revert to my usual self.  “Are we doing this, or not?”

              “Indeed, we are.”  The nurse gathers her materials, dragging a stool over to sit in front of me.  “This will sting, so bear with it.”  Hissing through my teeth, I wince as she begins cleaning the wounds.  She addresses Tachibana while she works.  “Tachibana-san, your friend is pretty rough around the edges, but take good care of her.”  She smirks.  “She obviously cares a great deal about _you_.”

              The nurse chuckles as I redden.  _Damn it.  She’s toying with me._   “If I didn’t say that, she was going to be a major pain in the ass.”  Tachibana giggles quietly before speaking.

              “Chris-chan doesn’t like others to know, but _I_ know she’s a very kind and caring person.”  While Tachibana is downcast, her eyes are a little brighter, despite being swollen and red.  _That’s good._   Knowing that nothing I say at this point is effective as a cover, I remain silent as the nurse works.  Once she finishes applying the disinfectant to my facial wounds, she gives me a new eyepatch and partial mask.  To remove the bandages binding my chest and shoulder, she helps me undress.  The bandages fall away, exposing my wounds to open air.  Tachibana lets out another small gasp, and I look down.

              Red and angry against the stitching, the wounds here run deep.  _Makes sense.  I didn’t even_ try _to dodge._   The cool air feels wonderful against the heat, and relieves some of the itching, as well.  From what I can see, the wounds run from my right shoulder down near the center of my chest, with a couple furrows over the top of my right breast.  _As if my face weren’t bad enough,_ this _will deter future interests.  That is_ if _I ever care to try._   Pushing the thought away, I return my focus to the present.  Looking up, I find Tachibana staring.  “Hey, idiot.  What are you looking at?”

              “Chris-chan, this may seem silly to ask right now, but” she fidgets nervously, and her eyes remain locked on my chest as she quietly asks, “are your breasts heavy?”  _She said_ WHAT _?!_   My brain locks up, my face catching fire while the nurse stops her work to laugh loudly.  My mouth moves, but I utter no sound.  _How do I even respond to that?_   “I’m sorry, Chris-chan.  It’s just… Mine aren’t _anything_ like yours, so I’m curious.”  I seize on an idea that finally works through my bafflement.  _She’s going to pay for this._

              “Why don’t you find out for yourself?”  The idiot’s face ignites.  She stutters several times, unable to form a coherent sentence.  _Not so funny now, is it?_   Thrusting my exposed chest out, I taunt her once more.  “Well?  I’m waiting.”  Vigorously waving her hands in the negative, Tachibana’s brain finally restarts.

              “No, no, no.  I can’t… I can’t do _that_!”

              “Then don’t ask embarrassing questions.”  My face still heated, I turn to the chuckling nurse.  “Can we finish this up before that idiot gets any _more_ bizarre ideas?”

              “Of course, Yukine-san.”  Still wearing a small smile, the nurse returns to cleaning and redressing my wounds.  Tachibana no longer stares; however, I catch her glancing in my direction several times.  _She’s still curious.  Well, I certainly won’t be enlightening her anytime soon._   After bandaging my chest wounds, the nurse helps me dress as she reinforces proper care practices for my injuries.  I depart the medical wing shortly after, Tachibana trailing close behind.

              Returning to the dorms is a slow process.  Tachibana no longer holds my sleeve, so I call to her, uncertain of where she is.  “Hey, you still with me?”

              “I’m here, Chris-chan.”  Her voice comes from behind me, close to the wall.

              “Want to do me a favor and walk up here, on my other side?”  Tachibana gives no response, but movement in my peripheral causes me to turn my head.  She is there, her expression one of concern.

              “Chris-chan?  Are you alright?”

              “Considering everything, I’m as fine as I can be.  I just want to make sure that I know where you are.”  In truth, the fresh disinfectant stings, and my wounds itch and burn, but I can handle some discomfort.  “Was it everything you hoped for?”  Tachibana’s confused look begs for an explanation.  “Coming with me today.  Are you satisfied?”  Silence reigns for a few moments.

              “I’m not really sure how to answer that, Chris-chan.”  Tachibana considers each quiet word carefully.  “I _did_ want to see your wounds, to face what I did to my friend.  It’s so much worse than I thought.  I mean, I _knew_ that it was bad.  When I came to, there was so much blood, and you were in so much pain…”  I reach out, attempting to stop her.  Tachibana deflects my hand, shaking her head as she steadies herself with deep breaths.  “Knowing you don’t hate me is a huge relief.  Honestly, watching you for this short time today has me feeling a little silly for even thinking that.”  Her lips form the shadow of a smile.  “You’re strong, Chris-chan.”

              “Being like this is still a massive pain in the ass.  It doesn’t matter how tough I act.”

              “I understand.  I need a little more time to think, I’m sorry.”

              “Take the time you need.  Enough about that.”  _I hope this works._   “Why don’t we get something to eat?  I’m starving.”

              “Thank you, but-” The impressive sound emitted by her stomach cuts her objections short.  I laugh as she reddens in embarrassment.

              “See?  I bet you didn’t eat anything decent the entire time you were hiding.  Come on, I’ll help pay for your portion.”  Tachibana’s eyes widen in surprise.  “Consider it a small reward for coming out of your room.  It’s nothing more than that, idiot.”  After stopping by each of our rooms, we head to the closest restaurant.


	3. Half Rest

_A short pause, a few moments of silence.  The song briefly fades, and it is unknown whether it will return or die…_

 

              _This was clearly a bad idea on my part._   While Tachibana normally eats a lot, her appetite amplified after barely eating for four days.  Although I would be covering only half of her portion, my funds will take a sizeable hit.  Finished with my meal, I watch Tachibana finish off a fourth portion, and she flags down our waitress to order a fifth.  _I always forget critical details at the worst times._   Sighing, I roll my eyes.  She gives me a nervous grin in response but cannot hide her eagerness.  _At least I managed to distract her for a while._   Tachibana will have too much time to think and cry later, but, for now, she is relaxed.  The next portion of her meal arrives, and she tears into it with zeal.

              My injuries attract a great deal of attention, but I ignore it.  What others think of me is of little importance.  While our walk here was slow, I greatly appreciate Tachibana’s guidance.  I will not thank her for it, however.  I am like this because of _her_ , after all.  Sighing contentedly, Tachibana sits back from her empty plate.  “That was good.”

              “More like it was impressive, and slightly disturbing.”  I ignore Tachibana’s sulk.  “Do you feel better?”  She responds with an affirmative.  “Good.  This little outing was worth it.”

              “What do you mean?”  My vague response demands an explanation, and Tachibana takes the bait.

              “There’s something I want to ask you, but I needed you to relax a little beforehand.”  I steady myself with a breath.  “I missed Section 2’s service for your friend, so want to ask… if I can go with you when… if… you attend the one her family will hold.  If that’s not too much to ask?”  _Damn it.  Now I look like a fool_.

              “Chris-chan?”  Tachibana wears her confusion.  “You and Miku were friends?”

              “Not really.”  I respond quickly.  “She helped me out when I was in trouble a while back.  I want to pay my respects, at least.”  Tachibana’s face becomes downcast.  I brace for a breakdown, but she holds herself together.

              “I’m sorry, Chris-chan.  Talking about this is difficult, so I have to ask you to wait again, if that’s alright?”

              “Of course.”  After her reaction to my other proposal, I expected this.  “I just wanted to get it out on the table.”  Standing, I grab my wallet.  “Come on.  Let’s pay and go home.”  Afterward, Tachibana guides me back to the dorms.  I insist on walking her to her room first, ignoring her protests.  “I can make it back just fine on my own, idiot.  I just need to take it slow.”  She finally relents after that.  Now that Tachibana finally left her room, I worry that she will do something reckless.  _She won’t get away from me that easily._

              “Chris-chan?”  Tachibana’s voice stops me before I leave.

              “Yeah?”

              “When do you go to medical next?”  Though her question is surprising, I answer simply.

              “You didn’t hear?  I’m due back in three days.”  Tachibana shuffles nervously before asking.

              “Is it alright if I come with you again?”  My responding sigh is purposefully exaggerated.

              “I guess it can’t be helped.  Do what you want.  Later.”  Tachibana’s quiet laughter follows behind me as I walk away.  I carefully return to my room, satisfied that the day’s events turned out reasonably well.

              The next three days pass quickly.  I refrain from bothering Tachibana directly, but I keep my eye out for her in the Lydian halls and around campus.  My classmates still assist me with numerous tasks, while my coordination improves.  I drop and spill less, as well as reduce the number of times I trip up or run into something, or someone.  Washing myself well remains outside of my capacity, but I have nobody to ask for help with such a personal matter.

              The team idiot surprises me by waiting outside my room on the day of my medical visit, since I was ignorant of her status since I saw her last.  “Managing to hold yourself together?”  Tachibana nods.  Judging from her eyes, she spent a fair amount of time crying, though she appears less exhausted than before, which points toward better sleep and eating habits.  “Give me a moment to put away my things.”  Returning to the hallway, I motion Tachibana onward, and she timidly clings to my sleeve, though her hold is not as desperate.

              “Chris-chan?”  Tachibana breaks the silence of our walk after several minutes.

              “What is it?”

              “Are you doing alright?”

              “For the most part.  I said it before, but I can use help with many things.”

              “Oh, I see.”  We fall silent for the rest of the walk.

              “It is good to see you again, Yukine-san.”  The aide’s energetic greeting is at odds with the somber atmosphere between us.  “You as well, Tachibana-san.”  He receives a small nod in return.  “Come right this way.”  After the aide leaves, the two of us sit in awkward silence.  Tachibana clearly wants to avoid talking.  Even if she wanted to talk, I have little idea what to say.  _I asked some difficult things of this girl a few days ago, not to mention that she’s still in mourning._   The nurse arrives, releasing us from the tense atmosphere.

              The examination proceeds smoothly.  Keeping my promise, I avoid looking at my facial scars.  Tachibana resists the impulse to stare at my chest, although just barely, judging by the few glances that slip through.  Once more reinforced with proper care practices, I am dismissed with no complications.  Once outside her room, Tachibana turns to me, and finally speaks, her voice quiet and subdued.  “Chris-chan, I want to answer one of your requests.”

              “Oh?  It’s about time.”  _Which one, I wonder?_

              Tachibana draws a deep breath before speaking.  “My mother called me.  Miku’s family is holding her memorial service this weekend.”  She meets my violet eye, the tiniest glimmer of hope in her gold-brown.  “If you still want to come with me, I will call and ask if it’s alright.”

              “Of course, I still want to go.  I wouldn’t ask if I wasn’t serious, idiot.”

              Tachibana’s lips form a small smile.  “That is why I’m grateful that you’re my friend, Chris-chan.  You aren’t very honest about your feelings, but you’re very serious about what you consider important.”  Tachibana disappears into her room, adding “I will call and ask tonight, Chris-chan.”

              I heave a sigh of relief.  One worry is crossed off my list, and I will finally be able to repay a small part of what I owe Kohinata.  _I suppose the rest of what I owe will be paid by helping that idiot recover from your death._   Still wrapped in my own thoughts, I turn to leave.

              “Yukine.”  Heart leaping in my chest, I nearly fall as I spin to see the person that addressed me.  Confident hands steady me, and Kazanari’s voice comes from my blind side.  “I apologize.  I did not mean to startle you.”

              “What did you think would happen if you sneak up on someone like that?”

              “Sneaking up on someone from the front is very difficult.”  Pointing angrily at my bandaged face helps Kazanari understand.  “Ah, that is correct.  I apologize, Yukine.  I was not being mindful.”  She gives me a small, apologetic bow.

              “Damn right.  Make sure it doesn’t happen again.”  The idol straightens, forcing me to incline my head to look up at her.  The two of us get along well enough since the events of the Lunar Attack.  However, I still find it annoying that I must look up at her, and Tachibana, for that matter.  If the idiot is tiring because of her energy, then Kazanari is tiring because of her proper behavior and warrior-like attitude.  _Her fans likely never see that side of her._   “So?  What do you want?”

              “I wanted to check on Tachibana, to see how she was doing.  Imagine my surprise when I found you here as well.”

              “That idiot wanted to come with me to my medical check.  I didn’t do anything to provoke her.”

              “Is that so?”  Kazanari gives me a knowing look.  “I am sure that she invited you to Kohinata’s service all on her own, as well?”

              “Damn it.  How much did you hear?”  Being half-blind severely limited my spatial awareness, so she may have been here the whole time.

              “Enough to know that you worry about her.”

              “Don’t be stupid.  That idiot’s friend helped me out a while back.  I might have… asked… if it was alright if I go with her, so that I can pay my respects.”  _This is embarrassing.  Why am I explaining myself like this?_

              “Mhm.”

              “Got a problem?”  Kazanari’s behavior begins stoking my rage.

              “No, I do not.”  Kazanari’s eyes are curious and thoughtful.  “I only wonder if there might be more to your actions than even _you_ realize.”

              “What do you mean by that?”  _She’s making fun of me, isn’t she?_

              “I do not _mean_ anything.  It was simply an idle thought, Yukine.”  Checking her watch, she sighs.  “I must be going.  I do not want Ogawa-san to start pestering me about punctuality.”  One hand raised in parting, she turns to leave.  “Take care of Tachibana for us.”

              “Running away?  Damn it, you are so _frustrating_ sometimes!”  I challenge her retreating form, and she ignores me.  “ _Shit._   Saying whatever she wants…”  A small giggle from behind Tachibana’s door causes my face to heat.  _Of course, she would hear_ that.  “Hey!  I heard that!  Pretend this never happened!”

              The idiot peeks out around her barely open door.  “You really care about your friends a lot, Chris-chan.  I’m really happy that you’re worried about me.”  _Damn it!  Not her, too._

              “She’s just saying whatever she wants.  Ignore it.  I’m leaving now!”  A quiet laugh and wave of parting follow me, my cheeks still flushed with heat.

              My room provides a haven from Kazanari and other students, but not from my own thoughts.  The fact that I can even _potentially_ attend Kohinata’s memorial service removes a great weight from my mind.  The idiot had no answer regarding my other offer, yet I will not rush her.  Only four days passed since I made the proposal, and only one week since her childhood friend was lost to her.  Tachibana is still processing everything that happened and blaming herself for my injuries does not help.  I _am_ worried about her.  Any decent person would be.  Hiding that fact is part of my personality.  Tachibana needs the emotional support, and I need help with various tasks.  That is why I proposed the trade.  Doing so cleared her mind about whether I hated her for what she did and told her that she could still consider me a friend.  As for how _I_ think of her…

              Tachibana is an idiot.  Despite that, her positivity and energy support a caring heart.  She makes a point to reach out and attempt to connect with others, especially where others refuse to see the need.  Finé and I are prime examples.  Our first real fight as Symphogear wielders allowed me to see that side of her, as well as her immense internal fortitude and explosive power.  I dismissed her words at the time, but I see merit in them now.

              Perhaps that is part of the reason I want to help her.  Despite my efforts to ignore them, Kazanari’s words still nag at me.  “ _I am only wondering if there might be more to your actions than even_ you _realize._ ”  Am I trying to repay a debt I feel is owed?  That was certainly my motivation for asking to attend Kohinata’s service.  As for Tachibana… Owing that idiot will be the day I lose my mind.  I dismiss the thought quickly.

              Although I will never admit it to her face, I do consider Tachibana a friend.  Friends help each other out in times of need, so I settle on that truth.  I am helping her out when she needs it to get back on her feet.  Well, I offered, and Tachibana is free to accept or refuse my help as she sees fit.  _I’m spending too much time thinking about this.  I have other concerns to focus on._   Setting my unproductive thoughts aside, I decide to see if I have anything decent to wear to Kohinata’s memorial service.


	4. Syncopation

_Remaining in time yet playing off the beat.  It creates an upbeat and light feeling, something that I am not used to…_

 

              The four days before the weekend pass quickly.  On the third, Tachibana joins me for another medical exam.  Though quiet, she is unusually attentive while the nurse works.  After the exam, she asks me to wait while she speaks to the nurse.  Lost in my own thoughts, I pay little attention to what they discuss.  She rejoins me shortly, and we walk back to her room together.  Once there, she informs me that I have permission to attend Kohinata’s service.

              We will be taking a train to Tachibana and Kohinata’s hometown, so we set a time to meet after classes end the next day, our half day.  The idiot’s home is apparently a fair distance from Lydian, which is not unusual, since Lydian is a prestigious music academy, and Kazanari herself attracts students from far and wide simply by being a student here.  Lydian is the only place I can potentially call “home”, so my own circumstances are unique.

              I spend the night packing a small bag; partly so that I can be ready to go quickly the next day, and mostly because doing so one-handed and half-blind takes a fair amount of time.  Tachibana’s family is kind enough to allow me to stay with them for the day or so that Tachibana and I will be there.  The idiot never talks about her family or hometown, so I am anxious about what I may be getting myself into.

              After classes end the next day, I make very slow progress to Tachibana’s room once I retrieve my packed bag.  With my free hand occupied, I walk closer to the wall, bag held in front of me to prevent it from catching on anything.  To my surprise, Tachibana meets me partway, determined and serious.  _What’s this about, I wonder?_   “Chris-chan!”  She waves to me as she approaches, her voice energetic.

              “You’re in high spirits today.”  That fact alone surprises me, yet I maintain my usual mask.

              “That’s because I have another answer for you, Chris-chan.”  _Oh?_   Tachibana steadies herself with a breath.  “I’m going to accept responsibility for injuring you and assist you in any way I can.”  Her following words are much less confident.  “In return, I hope you will still… talk with me… about Miku?”

              “That is the deal.  I won’t go back on it now.”  _This is good.  She can make progress like this._   Tachibana’s slight smile is accompanied by her free hand, held out to me.  “What’s this about?”

              “Your bag, Chris-chan.  I’ll carry it for you.”

              “Idiot.  How are you supposed to guide me if your hands are full?”

              “Hmhm!  I have a solution for that!  First, your bag.”  Hesitating for a moment, I relent and hand Tachibana my bag.  She turns around and speaks over her shoulder.  “Now, hold onto my shoulder.”  _Now I understand._   I dislike touching other people, but this situation gives me few options.  I rest my hand lightly on her shoulder, only to receive a laugh in return.  “Chris-chan, you can hold on tighter.  I’m tougher than I look, and you might be swept away in a crowd like- Ouch!”

              “I’m not a child, moron.”  I release my vice grip on her collarbone, settling for one that is firm, but not painful.  “Let’s go.”

              “Chris-chan is so cruel…”  I ignore her complaints and false tears as we make our way to the station.  I worry that carrying both of our bags will wear out Tachibana, but she shows no signs of tiring.  _Probably related to her martial arts training._   We successfully make our scheduled time and depart to Tachibana’s hometown.

              I attract many stares on the train, but my injuries also buy us space.  Other passengers carefully avoid me, and Tachibana and I enjoy a small amount of privacy.  “Does it not bother you, Chris-chan?”  Tachibana quietly asks.

              “Does what bother me?”  Keeping my voice low, I ask in return.

              “The staring.  I’m not even the one being stared at, and _I’m_ uncomfortable.”

              “Idiot.”  I give her an awkward chop with my good hand.  “If it bothered me, I would never ask to come in the first place.”  In truth, attracting so much attention _is_ a little unnerving.  I can ignore the stares easily enough, but the idiot, squirming in her seat, seems conscious of them.  As we near our destination, the number of passengers dwindles, and Tachibana relaxes.

              _She’s holding herself together remarkably well today._   The ever-present redness in her eyes remains, but Tachibana seems to have regained at least _some_ of her previous energy.  She is pushing herself hard today, and I wonder if she is putting on an act for her family.  Already aware of how hard all of this is on her, doing this for me is pointless.  Worrying that it will backfire, I resist asking her, lest her determination crumble.

              Our stop is announced, and we step off, Tachibana carrying our bags and myself trailing behind, hand firm on her shoulder.  Two women greet us, one of which is obviously Tachibana’s grandmother, judging from the hairstyle shared with our idiot.  The other I assume is her mother, and Tachibana’s joyful greeting quickly confirms my suspicions.  The idiot rushes forward, so I release her shoulder to avoid being pulled along.  Reunion moments do not suit me, so I hang back, out of earshot.

              “Chris-chan!”  Tachibana waves me over, and I carefully make my way, eye constantly roving to watch for obstacles and other people.  “Mom, Grandma, this is Chris-chan, the friend that asked to come with me.”

              I give Tachibana’s family a small bow and proper introduction.  “I am Yukine Chris.  Thank you for having me.  I will be in your care for this short time.”  My speech is normally rude, but I understand when manners overshadow my normal personality.  Staring, Tachibana’s mouth flaps in surprise.  _Let her think on that for a while._

              “Hibiki, your friend is very polite.  I don’t see why you said she wasn’t.”  Tachibana’s mother returns my greeting and adds “Thank you for watching out for Hibiki during this difficult time.”

              Realizing that the two women standing before me were warned about my personality beforehand, I revert to my normal, coarse self.  “Someone has to keep an eye on this idiot.  I figure it may as well be me.”  Tachibana’s sigh of relief contrasts with her family’s noticeable surprise.

              “I thought you were someone else for a moment, Chris-chan.”

              I fire her a withering glare.  “I know that there are times when being polite is the best option.  You’re an idiot, and you already know what I’m like.  You won’t be getting good manners from me.”  Tachibana’s mother is stunned, while her grandmother enjoys a good laugh at Tachibana’s expense.  Still carrying our bags, Tachibana steps closer to speak with me, her voice low and apprehensive.

              “Chris-chan, what are you doing?”

              “Apparently, you find it strange when I act outside the norm, so I, Yukine Chris, will act like I always do, whether that embarrasses you or not.”  Tachibana is on the verge of tears.  Sighing, I softly elaborate.  “Look, you already told your family that I am somewhat rude, correct?”  I receive a nod in response.  “Are you comfortable around me if I act differently?”  Tachibana gives a firm negative.  “That’s why I’m doing this, idiot.  You already have a lot to deal with, so I won’t add more for you to worry about.”  I reach up to give her a small pat on the head.  “Come on, let’s go.”

              Although confused, Tachibana calms.  She waits until I grasp her shoulder, then returns us to her family.  Tachibana’s mother recovered her composure while the two of us were talking, while her grandmother ceased her laughter.  Tachibana’s mother’s eyes linger on my injuries, and I wonder what Tachibana said happened to me.  _Hopefully she knows the “official” story._   I refuse to bring up the topic myself, so I will wait and see.  “Yukine-san?”

              “Yes?”  I turn my good eye toward Tachibana’s grandmother.

              “While I, personally, find your lack of manners hilarious, can I trust you to keep yourself in check at the service?”

              “Of course.  I owe the departed a lot.  I will be respectful.”

              “Good.”  She turns to address her daughter.  “I think you can relax a little now.”  She only receives a nod in return.  Satisfied, Tachibana’s grandmother turns to us.  “Let’s go, Hibiki, Yukine-san.”  We follow the two women to the car.

              After placing our bags in the trunk, Tachibana helps me sit comfortably before taking her own seat next to me.  _She’s taking her side of this trade seriously._   I will need to step up when my turn comes around, or this idiot will make me look bad.  “Aren’t you fussing over me too much?”  I keep my voice quiet.  This conversation needs to involve only us.

              “No.”  Understanding my intent, Tachibana responds quietly.  “I have only been with you for your medical checks, but even that short time tells me a lot.  I know you don’t like that I notice, Chris-chan, but you really hate being like this.”  Her eyes shift to me, and I cannot match the strength of her determination.  “I want to help you in any way I can.”  She looks away, her eyes downcast.  “It’s only because of you, Chris-chan, that I was able to overcome the darkness that day…”  I swiftly reach out to her, attracting her attention.

              “Don’t talk about this right now, idiot.”  I find myself giving her another small head pat.  I fail to understand why, but I press onward.  “We’re here for your friend, not for us.  Focus on that for today and tomorrow.”  Tachibana nods her understanding as I withdraw my hand.  Silence settles on us for the rest of the drive.  I can only stare at my open palm, where a faint sensation of warmth lingers.

              Once we arrive, Tachibana assists me with many tasks, as well as navigation around her home.  Having her nearby all the time is a little disconcerting, but refusing her help goes against our agreement.  Tachibana’s grandmother continues enjoying my rude personality, while her mother is quiet, watching me.  _She suspects something, but what?_   I reign in my paranoia before it gets out of hand and attempt to ignore her.

              Dinner that night is an embarrassing affair.  I deflect Tachibana’s attempts to feed me as well as I can.  While still somewhat uncoordinated, I can feed myself just fine.  Once we finish eating, Tachibana assists her grandmother with clean up, leaving me alone with her mother.  The atmosphere is tense, her gaze steady as she addresses me.  “Yukine-san?”

              “What is it?”  I mask my suspicion by keeping my tone even, considering each phrase carefully.

              “How are your injuries?”

              “They limit what I can effectively do alone, but I manage well enough.”

              “And now?”

              _What is she after?_   “Earlier today, your daughter agreed to help me out for a while.”

              “Is that so?”  Her eyes harden, yet her tone remains even.  “Did you propose this idea, Yukine-san?”

              _I see now._   This interrogation is about whether I am abusing Tachibana’s helpful nature, even in this difficult time.  “I did.  She and I agreed on a trade.”

              “A trade?”  Her apparent surprise is encouraging.  _She didn’t expect that.  Good._

              “Yes.  I don’t expect her to be able to help me all the time.  That’s unrealistic.  In return for her help, I will provide whatever emotional support I can.”

              Tachibana’s mother is thoughtful for several moments before focusing once more on me.  “Then, you really are a friend to Hibiki?”

              I nod.  _This is going to be_ really _embarrassing if the idiot hears this._   “She says that she considers me a friend, and” I can feel the blush in my cheeks already, “I consider her my friend, as well.”

              “I see.”  Her expression softens, and she gives me a small smile, which fails to hide the barbs in her words.  “Yukine-san, you’re a good girl, despite your rude mouth.”  I throw everything I have into restraining myself.  Retorting will ruin whatever progress I made.  Grinding my teeth, I give Tachibana’s mother a small bow.  _This woman and I do_ not _get along._   This stay-over may be more unpleasant than I expected.  I straighten just before Tachibana returns to the dining room.

              “Chris-chan, I’m going to get the bath ready.”

              “I’ll bathe after everyone else.”  Washing myself in my condition takes time.  My consideration only prompts a laugh from Tachibana.  “What’s so funny?”

              “You and I are going in _together_ , Chris-chan.”  _She can’t be serious._   One look at her face confirms that Tachibana is, indeed, serious.  My mind scrambling, I desperately search for an excuse to refuse.

              “Look, I don’t need _that_ much help, idiot.”  From the corner of my eye, I see her mother’s bemused smile.  _She’s enjoying my distress._

              Tachibana’s answering pout is obviously false.  “Chris-chan, you don’t have to hide it.  It can’t be easy to wash like that.  I can help with places you can’t reach one-handed.”  I grind my teeth in frustration.  Tachibana’s argument is logical, but I have never done anything like this in the past.  My desire to be properly clean wins out over my embarrassment and nerves.

              “Fine.  I suppose I will allow you to help me.”  The idiot’s expression brightens instantly.  “You don’t have to look so damn pleased about it.”  Laughing joyfully, Tachibana leaves to prepare the bath, and I resign myself to my fate.

              Completely undressing in the same room with someone else is awkward beyond belief.  Luckily, Tachibana agrees to face away from each other, and there is no need to worry about her getting any strange ideas with my chest still injured and wrapped in bandages.  I finish after her, of course, and Tachibana is gone, already inside the bathing area.  My hair flowing loosely behind me, I carefully enter after her, where Tachibana patiently waits for me.  _It seems I’m going first._   I attempt to memorize the layout, but Tachibana approaches me, removing my need to do so by taking my hand.  “Let me help, Chris-chan.”  She will not take “No” for an answer, so I simply nod as she carefully leads me.

              I notice a couple details as Tachibana guides me to sit.  The first is her scar.  Though aware of it, I never had an opportunity, before now, to see it.  Centered between her modest breasts, the scar forms the symbol for _forte_ , meaning “loud” in Italian.  _Figures it would be that, with her personality and the nature of the Symphogear system._   The second detail is that, despite all the damage she took when fighting Finé, and the Noise in general, her skin bears no other scars.  I wonder if Gungnir’s fusion with her body is responsible for this, but I have little time to ponder.

              Tachibana asks me to close my eyes as she wets down my hair, commenting “It’s longer than I thought.”  I keep it short in the front, but she must realize that the back is long, even though I keep it tied back most of the time.  She works quietly for a time after that, carefully washing my hair and the sections of my back that are clear of bandages.  I am unable to reach those or wash my hair well, so the feeling is bliss.  I sigh contentedly, receiving a giggle from Tachibana.  She helps wash my left side, and I stop her there.  “I can handle the rest.  That much I _can_ do.”

              “If you insist, Chris-chan.”  Tachibana relents much easier than expected, though she remains kneeling quietly, helping me into the bath once I finish rinsing.  The water level is lower than normal to keep my bandages and wounds dry.  _She’s unusually attentive_.  I remember that she stayed behind yesterday to speak with the nurse, and everything falls into place.

              I lean back, relaxing as I let my fatigue soak away, enjoying the feeling of being relatively clean, at long last.  I watch Tachibana, who is still quiet and thoughtful as she washes away the day’s dirt and sweat from her toned body.  I wonder what thoughts cross her mind, and Tachibana obliges my curiosity after a few moments.  “Hey, Chris-chan?”  I respond that I am listening.  “Can we… talk?”

              My attention instantly focuses on her.  “Of course.  I can’t have you making me look bad, after all you’ve done for me today.”  Tachibana smiles, but it only lasts a moment before fading away.  After a short time spent gathering her thoughts, she confides in me, her expression dark.

              “I was right there when Miku died.”  _Shit, she’s starting off heavy._   Her abrupt dive into a dark part of her heart causes me to tense, very worried for what comes next.  “A Noise attacked me from the air, but I handled that one just fine.  After it carbonized, I heard Miku calling out to me.”  Tachibana finishes rinsing herself and carefully sits across from me, ensuring that my wounds remain dry.  Talking about this must be difficult for her, regardless of how determined she is.  “I ran in the direction of her voice, but I was too slow…”  Her determination crumbles, and she begins crying softly, face in her hands.

              Tachibana tries to speak through her tears, so I place a comforting hand on her shoulder, my voice soft and reassuring.  “There’s no need to push yourself so hard.”  Shaking her head, she attempts to speak once more.  “Stop, please.”  My uncovered eye meets Tachibana’s confusion-filled gaze.

              “But, Chris-chan-”

              “Listen to me.”  I keep my voice firm.  “Take this slow, one small step after another.”  Lowering my hand from her shoulder, I gently take one of hers.  “I’m not going anywhere, and I won’t allow you to back out of this deal by breaking on me.”  I briefly glimpse guilt and shame as Tachibana lowers her eyes.  “Hey, I need you to look at me.”  Her eyes meet mine once more.  “I agreed to help you by talking with you.  We need to _talk_ before I can do that.  Understood?”  Tachibana slowly nods her understanding.  “Good.  I’m doing this because it helps me out, but I need you to help _me_ understand how to help _you_ , as well.”

              Tachibana’s eyes lower to the hand I gently hold.  Several seconds pass before she speaks, her voice quivering.  “I guess, right now, I’m just really lonely.”  Hesitating, she composes herself before continuing.  “Miku was always nearby, always where I could reach her if I needed to.”  Her voice cracking, Tachibana forges on.  “Miku was my sunshine.  Being next to her was where I was warmest, the place where I was always welcome.”  Tears fall on our clasped hands, and I quickly interject.

              “She was that important to you?”  Tachibana wipes tears from her eyes as she nods.

              “Other than my family, Miku was the one person who would stand by my side, no matter what we faced.”

              “I see.”  Judging from Tachibana’s words, she and Kohinata were much closer than I initially believed.  _What happened that forged so strong a bond?_   “We should probably get out before we faint from the heat.”  An abrupt change of topic, but I started feeling lightheaded shortly before.  Tachibana voices no objections, and gets out first, assisting me as I stand.  Having someone to help dry me off and get dressed helps immensely, and I feel refreshed for the first time since I was wounded.  Tachibana’s words weigh on my mind, and I mull them over, attempting to think of something, anything, that I can do.

              The two of us avoid speaking while preparing for bed.  I insist on taking the futon, practically forcing Tachibana to sleep in her own bed.  She needs at least _some_ normalcy right now.  Eventually stumbling onto an idea that may help the idiot, I softly call out to her.  “Hey, you awake?”

              “Chris-chan?  What do you need?”

              “You said that you’re lonely, right?  I thought that… maybe… it might help if you have someone to spend time with.”  Taking a deep breath, I push through my embarrassment.  “It isn’t normally my preference, but I suppose I can be that person if you want?”  Tachibana is quiet after that.  _Did she fall asleep?_

              “Chris-chan?”  Disbelief colors her voice.  “You would do that for me?”

              “Idiot.  I’m only doing it to keep my end of the bargain.  I’m offering my time to help you, like we agreed.”  Silence fills the room for a time before Tachibana responds.

              “I think that will help me a lot, Chris-chan.  Thank you.”  Her soft, even breathing informs me that she fell asleep.  _Now that was not like me_.  The idea and proposal are mine, however, so backing out is not an option.  My mind working late into the night, I remain awake for several hours, and what sleep I _do_ get is less than ideal.


	5. Dirge

_A requiem for the departed.  A slow, somber melody that weighs heavy on the soul, demanding respect for those who go ahead of us…_

 

              Sunlight shining on my face drags me from my restless sleep.  I still lack any decent plans for my offer last night, but I must postpone any brainstorming.  Today, I need to show respect for the departed, and keep my eye on Tachibana.  Who is currently staring at my face, chin in her hands and feet in the air as she lies on her stomach.  “What are you staring at?”

              “Chris-chan, you’re really pretty when you’re asleep.”  _What the hell?_  Struggling to keep pace with the idiot, I chastise her.

              “You shouldn’t stare at people when they’re sleeping, idiot.”

              “I apologize.”  Tachibana’s gaze remains focused on me.  “It’s just that… I never see you when you’re completely relaxed.  You’re always on guard when others are around, so I only see your angry face.”

              “ _You little_...”  I sleepily grab at her, and Tachibana easily rolls out of the way, laughing all the while.  “What nonsense are you spouting this early in the day?”

              “Girls!”  Tachibana’s grandmother calls to us from across the house.  “If you don’t get ready, you’ll miss breakfast!”  The idiot’s expression becomes serious at the thought of missing a meal.

              “Chris-chan!  Hurry!  I’ll help you get ready.”

              “Yeah, yeah.  Give me a hand, will you?”  Thanks to Tachibana’s help, I am dressed in record time.  Practically dragging me behind her, she attacks her meal the moment her backside hits her seat.

              “ _Itadakimasu_!”

              “Did you sleep well, Yukine-san?”  Tachibana’s mother directs her attention to me once I am comfortably seated.

              “Well enough, all things considered.”  I carefully start on my portion.  “Better than I have some nights, thanks to this idiot’s help in the bath.”  She bristles when I refer to her daughter in that fashion, but I refuse to change just for her.  Absorbed in her breakfast, Tachibana is deaf to my words.  _Probably for the best._   Steadily working through my meal, I observe the family seated with me.

              Tachibana and I opted to wear our Lydian uniforms, although my choice was one of necessity, since my injuries limit what I can comfortably wear.  Dyed mourning black, the dresses worn by the two women are modest, yet well made.  Preoccupied with observing Tachibana, I absorb few other details.

              Tachibana will likely require a great deal of emotional support today.  Also, I have yet to form an idea on how I can assist in easing her loneliness.  She is a year behind me at Lydian, and that fact makes coordination difficult, since I do not own a cell phone.  I carry the transponder issued to me by Section 2, but that is only for work-related communications.  _I might need to remedy my lack of a phone to make this work._

              The four of us leave the Tachibana residence later than I anticipated.  Knowing what I do of Tachibana’s relationship with Kohinata, I expected her to want to arrive early.  However, Tachibana has yet to voice an objection to the delay.  _I’m missing something.  This doesn’t feel right._   Arriving just barely on time, we secure seats in the back.

              The service itself is orthodox, with Kohinata’s family and friends, excepting Tachibana, giving short eulogies about her.  The idiot’s lack of participation spikes my paranoia once more, but I ignore it as much as possible.  Thanks to Noise carbonization, there is no body, but everything proceeds smoothly, until the four of us walk forward to pay our respects.  Those who see us begin whispering amongst themselves, their eyes lingering on Tachibana.  _Something is wrong._   I catch only a few words here and there, and my blood boils.

              “Isn’t that the Noise survivor?”  “Why is _she_ here?”  “Was that leech Kohinata’s friend?”  I ignore the whispers and barbed words, barely, but they greatly affect Tachibana.  She was somber before, but she now appears crushed, drawing in on herself, attempting to hide in plain sight.  This must be why Kohinata was so precious to her.  She stood by that idiot’s side, and remained her friend, even as those around Tachibana turned against her.  Just before we pay our respects, I catch one final set of quiet words: “I bet it’s _her_ fault that the Kohinata’s girl is dead.”

              _That’s it!  I can’t endure this any longer._   Quivering with rage since I heard the first ill words spoken, my anger finally erupts.  Tachibana tries to stop me as I whirl to face the crowd, and I shake her off.  “Do you all hear yourselves?!”  My outburst draws every eye, and those who just now notice my injuries gasp in shock.  I clench my fist, digging my nails into my palm to keep myself grounded.  “All of us are here to pay respect to someone that died, to remember who they were, and the only thing _you_ people can do is place the blame on that girl’s friend, the one she was closest to.”  My blood boils in my veins, my vision clouds, and I cannot stop.  I _refuse_ to stop.  _Tachibana deserves better than this._   “You _dare_ to blame this girl for her friend’s death?!  How can you even consider yourselves _human_ , let alone decent people?”

              “What do _you_ know about her?”  A voice from the crowd challenges me, and I am more than happy to oblige.  _They will regret this, every single one of them._

              “A lot more than you fools, apparently.”  There is a collective intake of breath, the crowd insulted.  _Good.  Let them come at me.  I’ll take some of the heat from the idiot._   I thrust my hand in Tachibana’s direction, opening it towards her.  “I don’t know what happened in the past, yet I trust this girl to have my back, and I’ll be _damned_ if I don’t have hers.”  Scanning the angry faces of the crowd, I continue my tirade, sweeping a pointed finger across the gathering.  “From what I heard, _none_ of you are worthy to be here.  You disrespect Kohinata Miku by even bothering to show your faces and insult her friend.”  A few of the spectators make their way forward, likely to escort me out.  _I guess that’s all the time I have._   I whisper to Tachibana.  “I must leave, but you stay.  Take the time you need here.”

              “Chris-chan…”  The idiot is clearly worried, since she never notices that a couple drops of blood stain her cheek.  Glancing at my hand, I see that I drew blood with my nails.  _Must have happened during my rant._ Ignoring the injury, I give Tachibana a reassuring smile, a rarity from me.

              “I’ll be fine.  They were pissing me off, and it’s the least I can do for you,” I shift my eye to Kohinata’s photo, “and for her.  See you soon.”  Lead away from the baffled Tachibana, I am escorted from the service.

              After twenty minutes, the service concludes.  As the crowd clears, many of the attendees shoot me heated glares.  I glare back, more than willing to show my displeasure.  The individual keeping watch over me eventually leaves, and I find myself standing alone.  Tachibana races to me, followed by her family and a couple that I assume are Kohinata’s parents.  “Chris-chan!”  The idiot pounces on me.  “What did you do that for?”

              “Ow!  Hey!  Let go of me!”  Suddenly realizing the folly of her action, Tachibana releases me.  I gently rub my chest wounds, wincing against the lingering pain.  “I told you already:  they were pissing me off.”

              The man, who I assume is Kohinata’s father, approaches me.  “While I can’t condone your actions, young lady, I thank you for what you did.”  He gives me a small, appreciative bow.

              “I thank you as well.”  His wife follows his words.  “Hibiki-chan has always been a good friend to Miku, and what she went through then, and today, was very unfair.”  She also bows, and the two depart.  _I’ll have to ask the idiot about what happened today.  Later, when she’s more stable._   I have a general idea, but details will help me understand.

              “Perhaps I was wrong to doubt you.”  I turn to Tachibana’s mother as she addresses me, meeting her eyes.  “Yukine-san, please continue being a friend for my daughter.”  Giving me a small appreciative bow, she leaves to prepare the car, Tachibana’s grandmother trailing behind, chuckling to herself.  Turning, I face a concerned Tachibana.

              “Why, Chris-chan?”  Taking my free hand in hers, she examines my palm, still oblivious to the small stains on her cheek.  _I’m surprised no one else noticed those._   “You didn’t need to do that…”  Tachibana traces the bloodstains left on my palm.

              “Before I answer your question, may I ask something?”  Cradling my hand in hers, she nods.  “Will you guide me back inside?  I didn’t get a chance to pay my respects.”

              “Of course.”  Tachibana carefully leads me inside the chapel, and I stand before Kohinata’s memorial once more.  Closing my eye, I bring my one good hand in front of me, upright in a half prayer.  I apologize for making a scene, and finally thank Kohinata for her help.  _I was in a tight spot on that day, long ago.  I was betrayed, exhausted, and, worst of all, alone.  I had nowhere to return to, yet you stepped in, helping a girl you never met simply because you had the means to do so.  In some ways, you resembled our idiot of a friend, but, for me, you opened a new perspective, however small it may have been.  You told me that you wanted to be my friend, and that was shocking, yet pleasant.  Ever since, I have been extremely grateful for your help.  Thank you._

 _You know, leaving like you did really caused us some problems.  The idiot went on a rampage, and we are both still recovering from that ordeal.  I owe you a lot, so I will promise you this:  I will do everything in my power to help her recover.  We made a deal, the idiot and I, and I_ will _uphold my end of our bargain, both for her and for you.  It’s the least I can do to repay my debt, but you know what?  I think I might go a step further.  It just isn’t right if that idiot isn’t smiling.  She needs her smile back, and I will do everything possible to make sure that happens._   Opening my eye after those few minutes, I notice Tachibana watching me, curious, but no longer worried.  “Come on.  Let’s go.”  I motion back towards the door, and Tachibana silently guides me out.

              The ride back is quiet, as well, likely due to my outburst at the service.  After making a brief stop at the Tachibana residence to grab our bags, and bandage my hand, the idiot and I are dropped off at the station, just in time.  Once the train is underway, Tachibana seizes the opportunity to ask me about my outburst.  “Chris-chan, you still haven’t answered my question from earlier.”

              I think carefully for several seconds before answering her.  “What I did back there, I did for two reasons.  The first is that I was pissed that those people dared talk about you like that, especially in the middle of a memorial service.”  After hesitating briefly, I continue.  “I haven’t known you very long, yet I know that you aren’t that type of person.  Like I said at the service:  I trust you to have my back, and I’ll make sure to have yours.”  Now that my rage simmered down, I feel a faint blush in my cheeks.  “The second is that I was pissed because they were being disrespectful.”

              No words pass between us for several minutes, both of us lost in our own thoughts.  Something was off in my behavior over the past couple weeks, especially when it relates to Tachibana.  Why did I offer and say the things I had?  Am I simply more conscious of her as a friend, since I spend so much time thinking about ways to help her?  One glaring irregularity stood out amongst every reason I considered.  Believing I would die from her attacks, I called her “Hibiki”.  I rarely call _anyone_ by their name, yet, at that time, I called to her so intimately.  Why?  A gentle touch on my shoulder interrupts my line of thought.

              “Thank you, Chris-chan.”  Her eyes are earnest, her voice steady.  “What you did today means a lot to me.  Not only what you said for me, but the fact that you did it for Miku’s sake as well.”

              “I already mentioned that I didn’t really do it for _you_.”

              “I know.”  Her eyes focus on my bandaged left hand.  “You hurt yourself today, when you are already hurt so badly.  Saying this may not mean much, but I don’t want to see you be hurt anymore,” Tachibana gently cradles my hand in hers, “even if it is to help me.”

              _Like I need you to worry about me._   That is what I _want_ to say, yet no sound issues from my mouth.  For lack of a better response, I simply nod, and Tachibana releases my hand.  “You know,” she meets my gaze as I speak, “I’m _really_ not used to having anyone worry about me this much.  It’s a little unsettling.”

              Tachibana’s mischievous grin urges me to hit her.  “You should have thought about that _before_ making that trade, Chris-chan.”  _Shit, I gave her too much leeway in our agreement._   Glaring in response, I ignore her for the rest of our return trip.


	6. Complex Time, First Measure

_Sway to the flow of a different rhythm, no longer bound by simple halves and quarters.  The song changes in ways that cannot always be predicted…_

 

              Morning greets me while running on almost no sleep.  I spent most of the night wracking my brain for ways to help Tachibana with her loneliness, yet I met only minimal success.  Attempting to understand my recent behavior bore no fruit, either.  _Today is going to be awful.  I feel terrible._   I focus as much as possible, but constantly slip off into my own thoughts.  One of my classmates asks to take me to the infirmary before I finally notice how bad it is.  “Huh?”

              “Yukine-san, you don’t look well.”  Receiving permission, she escorts me out.  Partway, I manage to convince her to head back, continuing slowly on my own, only to find that the nurse is out when I arrive.  Choosing a bed, I fall into an exhausted, yet fitful sleep.

              “…ris-chan.”  My shaking body forces my consciousness to surface.  “Chris-chan, wake up.”  Blinking against the light, I awaken, Tachibana at my side.

              “What is it?  If it’s not important, let me sleep, idiot.”  I try once more to rest and am gently shaken.  “What?!”  The idiot recoils slightly but holds her ground.

              “You have another medical check today.”  Exhaustion clouding my mind, I completely forgot.  Despite my obvious reluctance, Tachibana urges me.  “I’ll help you, Chris-chan, but, please, go.”  Worry and concern fill her eyes and voice.

              “Fine, you win.  Help me up.”  Tachibana helps me stand and insists on guiding me.  Too exhausted to resist, I agree.  Only once we reach the medical wing do I fervently wish that I possessed the willpower to refuse.

              “You’re doing what?”  My confusion is clear, and the idiot looks away in embarrassment.

              “Tachibana-san will be learning how to treat and bandage your wounds.”  The attending nurse continues to find my ill luck amusing.  I turn my attention to Tachibana, who looks away once more.  _She’s hiding something._

              “Hey, idiot.”  She ignores me.  “You better explain what this is about, or I’m refusing to have my wounds treated until you leave.”  She panics, fumbling her words.  “Slow down, so I can actually understand you.”  After calming herself, Tachibana explains.

              “Before I told you that I agreed to our trade, I talked with Master about a few things.  You might be angry with me, Chris-chan, but I want to assist you in every way possible.”  She takes another breath.  “I asked if you could be my roommate until your wounds heal.”

              “Seriously?!”  I refuse to believe what I just heard.  “Idiot!  Why would you do that?”  Tachibana holds firm against my complaints.

              “I won’t back down on this, Chris-chan, not after last weekend,” her gaze is penetrating, and I wilt beneath it, “and _definitely_ not after today.”  _Damn it.  I slipped up._   Tachibana’s gaze softens, her tone gentler.  “I’m really worried about you.  You’re always tired when I see you, and seeing you be so reliant on others…” she hesitates, “I know you hate it, so I thought that, maybe, you would be more comfortable relying on me instead?”  She leans closer, whispering, “It will be easier to talk this way, Chris-chan.”

              I quietly release a breath that I unknowingly held.  During her explanation, I worried that she was sacrificing too much.  However, the idiot kept our trade in mind the entire time, and this is her best solution.  Sighing in resignation, I answer her.  “Fine.  I don’t have much of a choice when you put it that way.”  I give her a pointed stare.  “You’re definitely helping me move my things, with that absurd amount of energy you possess.”  Tachibana brightens instantly.

              The nurse guides Tachibana through the routines for cleaning and bandaging my wounds.  According to her observation, my facial wounds are healing well enough to have the stitches removed on my next scheduled visit to medical, one week from today.  She also reports that Section 2’s medical staff is confident that no additional Symphogear-related complications will arise.  This gives Tachibana relatively free reign over my care, although I am required to return to medical once per week, so the staff can monitor my remaining injuries.

              Tachibana guides me to her room, where we part ways.  While Kohinata’s belongings are still inside, her family will be coming within the next couple days to gather them.  This delay also allows time for the “official” paperwork regarding our new rooming situation to clear.  Carefully making my way, I find myself lost in thought.  Tachibana solved two of my biggest concerns in one fell swoop.  Being her roommate not only makes it easier for us to talk, it places me nearby to ease her loneliness.  The situation also opens a whole different set of concerns, since I am used to being alone.  Shaking my head to clear it, I continue to my room.  _I will worry about those if they come up._

              I sleep a little better that night, since my mind has a chance to rest.  As is usual in recent days, my sleep is fitful and restless, and I awaken exhausted once more.  From what I can tell, I look better than yesterday, at least, and the relieved faces of my classmates confirm my self-observation.  Once classes end, Tachibana surprises me by greeting me outside my classroom.  “What are you doing here?”

              “I’m here to help you pack.”  She trembles with excitement, and her comment pulls my classmates’ attention.  _I’m not going to enjoy explaining this._

              “Do what you want.”  Tachibana falls into step on my right side and assumes her role as my guide.  _This part may not be so bad._   Upon reaching my door, I caution Tachibana.  “Don’t be too disappointed.”  Her surprise is clear, for my room contains very little.  I struggle with the idea of having a place to call “home,” so I own few possessions:  a few changes of clothes, my Section 2 transponder, Ichaival’s convertor unit, and other necessities.

              “Chris-chan…”  Entering my room, the idiot is lost for words.

              “I see you still do not have much, Yukine.”  Kazanari’s husky voice from behind startles me, and she steadies me before I lose my balance.

              “Why are you _always_ popping up out of nowhere?”  I shoot her a molten glare, which she ignores.

              “Tsubasa-san!”  Tachibana pounces.  The idol casually sidesteps, sending the idiot sprawling.  “Everyone is mean to me…”  Tachibana’s false tears fool no one, so her complaints cease once she regains her feet.  “What are you doing here?”

              “That’s something I want to know, as well.”  Kazanari, unaffected by my sharp tone, casually examines the two of us before speaking.

              “I am checking on both of you, to see how you fare.  Particularly in Tachibana’s case, since she tends to hide things from me.”  The idiot grins sheepishly under Kazanari’s scrutiny.  “I am actually very curious about the reason she _is_ here, Yukine.”

              “This idiot convinced the old man to pull strings, so we can room together.”  Kazanari makes no effort to stifle her surprise.  “Look, it’s complicated, and I’m not explaining.”  The idol’s gaze falls on Tachibana.

              Apologizing with her eyes, Tachibana enlightens Kazanari about our circumstances.  The idiot spills everything regarding our trade, although she has enough tact to avoid mentioning my outburst at Kohinata’s service.  Kazanari seems impressed, and surprised, by the entire situation.

              “Yukine.”

              “What?”  Irritation seeps into my tone.

              “Take care of Tachibana for us.”  The idol’s eyes are sharp as they focus on me.  “Let her do her part, as well.”

              “You think I’m not going to?”  I touch my facial bandaging.  “She owes me for this.”

              “I will settle for that.  Tachibana, do not let her wear on you too much.”

              “Kill yourself.”  Ignoring me, Kazanari leaves with a word of parting.  I heave a sigh of relief in tandem with Tachibana.

              “Tsubasa-san is always so intense.”  Now that the idol is gone, she laughs nervously.

              “Ignore her.”  My irritation lingers, and Tachibana is unfortunate to be my only target.  “Are you helping, or just standing there like a fool?”  Her pout is nearly tangible as I enter my room ahead of her.

              Packing what I need takes little time, though I banned Tachibana from handling my underwear.  _Seriously, what kind of person yells “Wow!  It’s so big!” when handling a bra?_   She leaves with a load of my least essential items.  Before leaving, she refused my offer of help.  Tachibana, still irritated with me from the day before, told me to rest while she handles the heavy lifting.  I sit on my bed in disbelief, reeling that I was _scolded_ by our team idiot.  In truth, I _am_ exhausted.  A lot happened over the weekend, and Tachibana’s energy and positivity will only last until she loses momentum, which will likely be around the time we settle into being roommates.

              “Chris-chan.  Hey, Chris-chan.”  A gentle hand on my shoulder accompanies Tachibana’s soft voice, waking me from my doze.  Her concern is apparent.  “Are you alright?”

              “I’m alright.  I’m just tired.”  I lack the strength, and will, to deny my current state.  “Do me a favor and help me change?”  Tachibana readily agrees, and I lie in bed shortly after, the idiot waiting close at hand.  “This is enough.  You can leave now.”  Shaking her head, she refuses to leave.  “Suit yourself.”  The time is still early in the evening, but I gladly take the chance to rest.  I try to ignore Tachibana’s presence, and soon succumb to my exhaustion.

              Waking the next morning, I feel better, but not completely rested.  Tachibana left at some point in the night, and her lack of presence feels strangely odd.  I brush the feeling aside.  Lately, Tachibana is often around me, so I am likely growing used to having her nearby.  Changing one-handed, I regret her absence.  _This is so much easier with that idiot’s help._   Gathering my materials, I head to class, dreading the barrage of questions that await me.

              Every eye focuses on me once I step into the classroom, proving my fears correct.  The bell tolls, signaling the first break, and my classmates promptly surround my desk.  “Yukine-san, who was that underclassman yesterday?”  “What did she mean about helping you move?”  “I was wondering:  how do you know Kazanari-senpai?”  “Can you introduce me to Tsubasa-senpai?”  I desperately deflect each question, and my mind is burnt by the time classes end.

              Waiting outside my classroom, once again, is Tachibana.  My classmates quickly surround her, bombarding her with questions.  Clearly distressed by the unexpected barrage, her attempts to find me are obstructed by the crowd.  _Damn it.  Looks like I need to pull her ass out of the fire._   I wait to assist the idiot, of course.  I savor the moment as a small bit of revenge for what I went through all day.  Once satisfied, I step in.

              “We have plans today, so if you’ll excuse us?”  Hoping that I avoid tripping on anything, I drag Tachibana out of the crowd.  Once we are well clear, I release her arm.  “You’re welcome.  Don’t expect it again.”  Walking around her, I position myself within reach of the wall.

              “Thanks, Chris-chan.”  The idiot laughs wearily, falling into step beside me.  “I was really in trouble there.”

              “I know.  I enjoyed it.”

              “Chris-chan!”

              “Your distressed face is one I don’t see often.  It was fun.”  I receive no response from my companion.  Glancing over, I regret my harsh words.  Tachibana is on the verge of a breakdown, tears welling in her eyes and her face downcast.  “Haaah… Look, I’m sorry, alright?  Please don’t break down on me here…”  Nodding, she manages to compose herself by the time we arrive outside my room.

              “Did your friend’s family come by?”  I gather my necessities, per Tachibana’s instructions.

              “Yeah.  Miku’s family came by this morning to pick up her belongings.”  Although focused on her work, Tachibana’s manner is subdued.  “Ou-… _My_ room feels so empty, now.”  She manages to catch her verbal slip, but the damage is noticeable.  _She’s suffering a good deal in private, where others can’t see her._   Recently, Tachibana’s eyes rarely show signs of a night spent crying, but that means little.

              “Unfortunately, I don’t have that much to fill it with.”  Tachibana smiles weakly at my poor attempt to lighten the mood.  Silence dominates the rest of the move, although Tachibana becomes livelier once we begin organizing my belongings in _our_ room.  “You’re still banned from touching my underwear.”

              “Boo!  I can control myself.”

              “No, you can’t, therefore, you’re still banned.”  Ignoring her complaints about my lack of faith, I focus on the task at hand.  We finish quickly thanks to my lack of personal effects.

              “You really don’t have very much, do you?”  The idiot’s curiosity is piqued, and I debate whether I should oblige her.  _No, not yet._

              “I’ll tell you about it another time.”  Tachibana, picking up on my serious tone, allows the subject to fade, instead seating herself at the low table in the center of the room.  Choosing the space directly across from her, I begin my own round of interrogatives.  “Why did you _really_ ask the old man for this?”

              “I want to help you, Chris-chan, like we agreed.”  Her eyes avoid mine, so I push harder.

              “There’s something more.  You seemed almost desperate about this.”  Tachibana considers her next words in silence.  Once she speaks, her voice is quiet, and carries the weight of her emotion.

              “Remember how I said that I’m lonely?”  I affirm her words.  “Well, I asked for this, so I can have someone nearby.  I wasn’t even sure if you would agree to this when I asked.”  Tachibana drops her gaze from mine.  “I made a selfish request, and I chose to make that request before asking my friend if she was alright with it.”  Tears hit the tabletop, yet I allow her to continue.  “You offered to help me.  I was so happy, I still am, but I was also really surprised.  When you didn’t say anything about it, I worried that I imagined your offer.”  _Shit, I try to be considerate, and it backfires on me._   “Chris-chan, I tried to take advantage of your kindness.”  Tachibana’s speech becomes broken by the occasional sob.  “You offered me some of your time, and I… I tried to take _all of it_ for myself.”  Switching seats to sit on her right, I reach out to comfort her.  Surprised, she looks up at me, her gold-brown eyes wet with tears.  “Chris… -chan?”

              “I already agreed to help ease your loneliness, so why are crying about this now, idiot?”

              “It’s because I hate myself so much for doing this.”  Tachibana’s eyes overflow with the pain in her heart.  “I lost the person most precious to me, and I almost lost you, too.  I felt that I didn’t have the right to remain your friend, yet there you were.  The same blunt, rude Chris-chan that I have come to know.”  For several minutes, the only sound is the occasional quiet sob from Tachibana.  I remain beside her, comforting her, but unsure of what else I can do.  Once she composes herself, her eyes meet mine once more.  “Chris-chan, I was lonely and desperate, but I shouldn’t have done this without talking to you.  My deepest apologies.”  Tachibana bows, deep and formal, and my skin crawls in response.

              “Hey, now.  There’s no need to be so formal with me.  Frankly, it’s creeping me out.”  Dumbfounded, Tachibana laughs softly once her surprise fades.

              “You really don’t change, do you?”  No, that is wrong.  _Something_ about me is changing, but I cannot fathom what.  My current behavior is very unlike me, yet Tachibana is too dense, and preoccupied with her own worries, to notice.  Eager to get away from that line of thought, I change the subject.

              “Now that I’ve listened to you for a while, it’s time for you to do your part.”  I receive a questioning look.  “I didn’t have a chance to bathe last night, so give me a hand.”  Tachibana stands too quickly, slamming her shin into the table.  Sighing, I shake my head.  “You don’t change, either.  You’re still the same idiot that you always are.”  _Yes, she’s just as she always is._


	7. Complex Time, Second Measure

_Emotions sway, thoughts shift.  The song resounding in my heart adopts a different melody; alien, yet somehow comforting…_

 

              Tachibana and I settle into our new living arrangement and routines three days later.  I have the bottom bunk, of course, but Tachibana apparently always used the top bunk, even when Kohinata was her roommate.  I always thought Lydian strange for using bunk beds, but who am I to criticize what is “normal” anymore?  Although still not accustomed to having someone nearby all the time, I am thoroughly enjoying having someone help me with the more difficult aspects of being injured.  Having someone to spend time with outside of class also improves Tachibana’s mood.

              The idiot’s first time tending to my injuries, on the first day, went smoothly.  While the bandaging across my chest is looser, it is snug enough to avoid issues.  Apparently, the medical wing only gave her enough materials for a week, ensuring that she and I are required to come in for my weekly checks.  _Sly bastards._   During that time, we talked a little, and I learned a small piece of the history between Tachibana and Kohinata.

              Tachibana spoke of the persecution she suffered after the events where she received Gungnir.  Having lost loved ones to the Noise attack that she survived, many were bitter, and the idiot made a convenient target and scapegoat.  Her family became caught in the crossfire, and Kohinata, and her family, stood with the Tachibanas against everything thrown their way.  Kohinata is also the reason that Tachibana attends Lydian, and I can see why.  Kohinata wanted to help her friend get away from those who would harm her, and give her a fresh start, with new faces and open minds.  _Who knew that it would turn out like this?_

              Impressed by Tachibana’s perseverance, I reflect on my own past.  My own experiences were harrowing, and I believe that I am a much different person now than I was before.  From what I heard, the idiot managed to salvage most of who she was, and still is.  Some of her outward personality is a lie, of course.  She hates having others fuss over her, so I am certain she keeps up appearances.  That part of her likely contributed to her agreeing to our trade.  Even though I offer to help her heal emotionally, I behave mostly the same around her, and I avoid prying too deep.

              The second thing I learn is not about Tachibana, but about myself.  The more we interact, the more I come to trust Tachibana.  I already trust her a great deal, but that trust applies on the battlefield, and against other outside threats.  I begin to trust her emotionally, as well.  The idiot is slowly working her way into my heart, and there is little that I can do to stop her.  Though guarded about my past, I begin to share more about myself as a person, one small piece at a time:  a preference here, an annoyance there.  Small, insignificant things, but Tachibana always enjoys learning about me.

              Four days later, my medical visit ends with the stitches being removed from my facial wounds, and a report of good progress on my chest wounds.  The break in my arm is less severe than the medical team originally believed, yet my arm must remain in a cast for another few weeks, after which I will be fitted with a brace.  My facial wounds only need to be covered for another week, and then I can finally see my face, since those are the terms of my agreement with Tachibana.  _I will finally have my depth perception back, so I can stop running into things._

              Tachibana’s momentum finally ran out two days after my facial stitching was removed, while tending to my chest wounds.  I always hate this part.  Being exposed like this is cold, with Tachibana uncomfortably close to my chest.  The idiot never tries to do anything strange, but I refuse to forget her outbursts regarding the size of my breasts.  I always keep a wary eye on Tachibana while she works, and she surprises me by speaking.  “Chris-chan, are you cold?”

              “I am, so you should hurry and finish this.”  Falling silent, her hands slow their work before eventually halting.  “Why are you stopping?”

              “I feel so cold, Chris-chan.”  Tachibana’s voice is thick with emotion, her shoulders shaking.  “My sunshine has been gone for so long, and I have nowhere else where I feel warm.”  Tears filling her eyes, she buries her face in her hands.  “I try so hard to be strong.  Having you here with me was supposed to make everything easier.”  Her weeping overpowers her words.  Placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder brings her eyes up to meet mine.

              “Did you really think this was going to be easy?”  Softening my tone, I try to comfort her.  “I’m here to help you when this kind of thing happens.  I’m here to talk when you feel like talking.”  I grip her shoulder a little more firmly.  “Have a little more faith in me already.”

              “Chris-chan!”  The idiot pulls me into a tight embrace.  It hurts like hell, but this is not the time to complain and push her away.  Hissing through my teeth, I bear with the pain.  “I’m sorry!”  Tachibana pushes through her tears.  “I trust you a lot, I really do.  I didn’t mean to sound like I don’t appreciate what you’re doing for me.”  She pushes back from me, and I watch her heart shatter.  “You’re a great friend, Chris-chan, but it’s just not the same.  You’re not Miku…”

              I mentally stagger as her words deliver a hammer blow to my ego.  I understand very well that I will never replace her childhood friend, that was never my intent, yet I still feel crushed.  Everything I have done, I did because I thought it would help.  I do everything my own way, of course, but that is the only way I function.  An idea comes to mind; one I will certainly hate.  Lacking other options, I brace myself.

              Seated like we are, Tachibana has nowhere to run.  Grabbing the side of her head with my good hand, I press her ear against my chest.  Tachibana’s startled shout lasts only a moment, and her confused voice reaches me, resonating against my chest.  “Chris-chan?”

              “Shut up and listen.”  I speak, refusing to look down.  My face is aflame, and I refuse to allow the idiot to witness my embarrassment.  “Do you hear that?”  Tachibana nods, her hair brushing against me.  “My heart still beats; I am alive, and it’s because of you.”  I breathe to steady myself.  “When I died, you brought me back.  The three of us almost died again anyway, but we didn’t.  Because of the times we fought, both against and next to each other, I have come to regard you as a f… fr…” I steel my resolve and force the word out, “friend.  Being around you outside of combat has only reinforced that feeling.”  Tachibana continues listening to my heartbeat, while her quiet breathing softly caresses my exposed skin.

              After a few moments of silence, I speak once more.  “My goal has never been replacing your friend.  I only wish to help you as I am, as Yukine Chris.  I may not be the best person for the job, but I’ll be damned if I won’t try.”  Tachibana carefully pushes away from me, so I release my hold.  Her eyes are still moist, her face downcast.  Despite that, she seems calmer, almost hopeful.

              “Thank you, Chris-chan.”  Tachibana wipes tears from her eyes, her voice stronger.  “I’ll finish treating your wounds, and we’ll get you dressed.”

              “Finally!  I thought I was doomed to freeze to death half-naked.”  My friend giggles at my absurd words, and the day’s emotional crisis is averted.  At least, that is what I thought.

              That night, we are changed and in bed.  I am adjusting to Tachibana’s assistance in the bath, and I grow less nervous as time goes on.  Still, she manages to surprise me once more.  “Chris-chan?  Is it alright if I sleep next to you?”

              “You’re kidding, right?”  Her face appears from the top bunk, upside-down and serious.  “I guess not.  Haaah… Do what you want but be careful.”  I fire her a withering glare.  “Do anything weird and you’re out.”  She nods in acknowledgement, so I sit up.  No way in hell am I letting her sleep on my injured side, so I allow her to crawl past me, near the wall.  I feel her settle in, but cannot see her, since she is on my blind side.

              My injuries require me to sleep on my back.  It is good posture, but very restrictive.  I hear no sound other than Tachibana’s breathing, but it is not the quiet, even rhythm of sleep.  Closing my eye, I hope I can sleep well enough, or at all, with another person in the bed.  “Chris-chan?”  _Damn it!  Why?!_

              “What is it?”  I snap at her, instantly regretting my action.  This is not an ideal time for the abrasive part of my personality to take over.  However, Tachibana ignores it.

              “Is it too much to ask to hold your hand?”

              “Absolutely.”  My denial is instant.  That much contact is impossible for me as I am now.  I feel Tachibana flinch, and I sigh and explain.  “I’m not very comfortable with people touching me.  I do consider you a fr… friend, but it’s just the way I am.  You will have to accept that for now.”

              “I understand, Chris-chan.  Sorry for asking something like that.”

              “Don’t apologize, idiot.”  I keep my tone even and quiet.  “Come on, let’s get some sleep.”  I manage to fall asleep soon after Tachibana, her quiet, even breathing lulling me to sleep.

              In the days following her breakdown, Tachibana is more subdued, yet she still manages to talk with me about what is troubling her.  In return, I share something about myself each time.  Learning about me improves Tachibana’s mood, and, much to my surprise, I enjoy sharing these small facets of myself.

              Five days after Tachibana’s breakdown, my next medical visit arrives, and I am eager to go.  Looking forward to no longer being half-blind, I practically drag a baffled Tachibana along with me.  “Chris-chan?  You usually hate these visits.”

              “I will finally be able to see normally, so move it.”  Lost in her thoughts, Tachibana is silent for the rest of the walk.  The aide is surprised by my motivation as we arrive.

              “You are eager today, Yukine-san.”

              “Of course, I am.  Let’s hurry this up.”  After leading us to an available room, he leaves to notify the staff, muttering under his breath.  From what I can catch, it is the usual complaints about my unfriendly attitude.  _It’s just how I am._   My gaze shifts to Tachibana.  _Except with her._

              Last night, I finally concluded that I want to be closer to Tachibana, and that reason explains _some_ of my recent behavior.  There are actions taken, and words spoken, that fall outside of that explanation, but I am satisfied for now.  I need to open myself more to her, which is difficult, given my personality.  The nurse’s entrance interrupts my thoughts.

              I blink against the light as the eyepatch is removed.  After nearly four weeks, I am eager, and nervous, to see my face.  However, I hesitate.  Turning to Tachibana, I ask her permission, startling both her and the nurse.  “May I?”

              Tachibana recovers first.  “Of course, Chris-chan, although I’m not quite sure why you’re asking me?”  She ends with a nervous laugh.  This is not the best time, or place, to say that her opinion on the matter is important.  I walk to the mirror and examine my face.  The scarring is impressive.  Two scars run horizontally just over and under my left eye, causing me to realize how lucky I am to retain both eyes.  The other two are above and below those, and I trace each one with my unrestricted hand.  _These will be a reminder, for both myself and the idiot._   For me, they signify what I am willing to do for those I care about.  For Tachibana, they may only bring pain, but also the knowledge that I have her back, no matter what stands against us.

              I notice that the scars themselves are strangely hot, and I question the nurse about it.  “Really?”  Her surprised response is not encouraging.  “Let me check.”  Once she stands beside me, I turn to face her, allowing her to carefully touch my scars.  “Indeed, they are.  I wonder if this is because Tachibana-san was berserk at that time.  Being wounded by pure relic energy might cause this effect.”  The nurse is thoughtful for several seconds.  “The short answer is that we do not have enough information.”

              “That will have to do.  I can’t ask for much else.”  I examine myself for a few moments longer, then return to my seat on the bed.  “Let’s finish this up, so I can get the hell out of here.”  Tachibana’s attention remains focused on me for the rest of the visit.

              “You can stop staring now.”  Walking next to the wall, out of habit, I address Tachibana, her eyes still on me.  She is silent for a few moments before responding.

              “Why did you ask me for permission?”  I figured that was bothering her.  Since I resolved to be more honest with her, my usual dodge tactics will not satisfy me here.

              “I made that agreement with you, so I wanted to ensure that the conditions were satisfied.”

              “What if I said ‘no’?”

              “Then I wouldn’t have looked.”  Tachibana’s eyes are skeptical.  _Damn her.  She knows me too well._   I steel myself before explaining.  “I’m serious.  I recently realized that I want to be a better friend.  Your opinion on this was important, so that is why I asked.  If you said ‘no’ I would have respected that.”  Tachibana’s stunned, confused expression makes words unnecessary.  Her first few attempts to speak are in vain, so she eventually relents, our footsteps creating the only sound between us as we walk.

              “Chris-chan, can I… touch them?”  Tachibana’s curiosity overwhelms her upon reaching our room.  I give an affirmative, and she gently traces my scars.  Her cool touch feels wonderful against the abnormal heat.  Absorbed in the sensation, I close my eyes.  “I am wondering something.”

              My eyes remain closed as I respond.  “What is it?”

              “You said that you want to be a better friend, right?”  Tachibana’s question catches me off-guard, but I respond honestly.

              “I do.”  _What is this about?_

              “Chris-chan, will you call me by my name?”  My eyes snap open, and Tachibana’s serious expression fills my vision.  I never expected her to ask this, and my surprise renders me mute.  Realizing that surprise silenced me, Tachibana continues.  “It’s strange.  You don’t call me by name, even though you say that you consider me a friend.”  Her hand comes to rest on my cheek, just under the lowest scar.  “You have become an important friend, Chris-chan.  Won’t you open your heart for me, even a little?”

              My breath stopping in my chest, my mind reels.  _This girl…_   What can I say?  How should I respond?  I barely resolved to be more honest with her, and this idiot kicks open the door that I barely cracked.  Tachibana lacks subtlety, but this is surprising.  My vision blurring, I feel tears roll down my cheeks.  Wiping one away, I stare in surprise.

              “Chris-chan?”  Tachibana’s voice, full of concern, yanks me back to reality.  “Are you alright?”  Her eyes scan my face as tears continue to fall.  “I’m sorry if I said something I shouldn’t have.”  She turns away, and I catch her shoulder, stopping her.

              “Wait.”  Tachibana’s eyes meet mine over her right shoulder.  “It’s not your fault.  _I’m_ even surprised by this.”  I feel calmer after taking a deep, shaky breath.  “Let’s sit.”  We seat ourselves on opposite sides of the table.  “I may not be very good at this, but I want to talk about myself for a while.”  I forge ahead, heedless of my still-falling tears.

              I tell Tachibana about myself.  _All_ of myself, events that I have not spoken or thought about for a long time.  I speak of how my parents were killed pursuing their dream, and my subsequent capture and imprisonment.  Shuddering as I remember, I reveal some of the abuse I suffered at that time; the humiliation and pain I endured as a small girl captured in a war-torn country.  Tears spill from my eyes once more, but I ignore them.  I tell Tachibana of the time I worked for Finé, and the repeated indignities and lies that woman heaped upon me.  She listens patiently, and only speaks once I fall silent for several minutes.

              “Chris-chan, I… I don’t know what I should say…”  Her concern for me is welcome, but unnecessary.

              “It’s alright.”  I speak before her idiot brain overheats.  “I’ve come to terms with what happened to me.  If only…”  Shaking my head, I leave the thought unfinished.  “I still have many walls up because of my past, and it’s not easy to bring them down.  I apologize that I’m like this, but, please, be patient with me.”  I close my eyes to compose myself.  Tachibana’s gentle embrace draws me back to the present.  “What…”

              “Everything is alright, Chris-ch-… Chris.”  The name change is unexpected.  “Your heart may be closed and guarded, but mine is big enough to carry your troubles.”

              “You need to worry about your own problems first.”  My words strike home, and her face flushes.  “My troubles are long passed.  Your problems are something you need to face and handle _now_ , otherwise, you may become like me.”  I jab a finger into her chest.  “Your heart took some heavy damage not long ago.  Focus on healing yourself first.”  Withdrawing my hand, my words continue flowing.  “I have faith in you, and I am here if you need me.”  A pat on the head later, Tachibana relaxes.

              “Thank you, Chris.  You’re an important friend, and I will listen to your advice.”

              “You better follow it, too, not just listen, idiot.”  Tachibana laughs, true and from the heart.  She flashes me a smile.  _Ah, there it is._   I kept one of my promises to Kohinata.  The idiot regained her true smile.  Now, I must ensure it stays this way.


	8. Complex Time, Third Measure

_The song surges, becoming a purifying blaze.  It burns away my old self, allowing previously unknown facets to glimmer and rise from the ashes…_

 

              Tachibana’s improvement continues over the next three weeks.  When we talk, she is more comfortable, and I share more about myself every day.  Kazanari visits us periodically, talking and laughing with us for a few minutes each time.  During the passing days, I notice a change within me.

              I am more conscious of Tachibana.  My eyes follow her, watching her actions and expressions closely.  When she smiles, or laughs, I overflow with joy.  In her moments of weakness, I reach out, wishing to ease her sorrow.  I find myself staring occasionally, and quickly avert my gaze when Tachibana’s eyes meet mine.  _Something is wrong with me._   That thought dominates my idle moments, yet I have no answers.  I lack experience interacting closely with others, so all I have are theories and guesses, none of which I like.

              The most noticeable change is unexpected.  Four days after being able to see again, Tachibana tends to my remaining injuries, like she promised.  Per the medical staff’s instructions, she first checks my facial scars.  They retain that strange heat but are gradually cooling.  When the bandages fall from my chest, I reflexively cover myself.  Surprised, our eyes drop to the hand covering my breasts.  Neither of us comment, but it is not an isolated incident.  Any situation where I am exposed in front of Tachibana, I cover myself, or turn away.  After several repetitions, the idiot finally asks me why.  I have only one answer for her: “I have no idea.”  She laughs, calling me weird for doing this _now_ , after all the time we spent together.  I agree with her, adding my actions to the growing list of aspects that escape my understanding.

              One week passes after the start of my odd actions, bringing the summer holidays that much closer.  The stitches in my chest wounds will be removed on my next medical visit, three days from now, and my cast replaced with a brace shortly after the month-long holiday begins.  Tachibana’s recovery is impressive, given the short amount of time we roomed together, and my recovery heralds a release from our trade, since I will soon no longer require her assistance.  That knowledge causes me to be strangely anxious.

              I _do_ enjoy being around Tachibana, regardless of my confusing behavior.  She is brighter now than she has been in weeks, though she lacks her former energy.  As for myself, I notice I am kinder to Tachibana, and my words and tone are softer when speaking with her.  I have yet to call her by name, but she no longer pushes for it.  I welcome her understanding on the matter, since it relieves a great deal of pressure on me.

              After the stitches in my chest are removed, we spend the following day quietly.  It marks the sixth week since Kohinata’s death, and Tachibana and I have had little time to simply sit and reminisce.  I quietly listen to Tachibana talk about her childhood friend.  She shares her memories of their time together, and I ask the occasional question when a subject comes up that I am unfamiliar with, which occurs much more often than I would like, causing the idiot to gently laugh at my unfamiliarity with normal life.  _She’ll always be “the idiot”, no matter how much time passes._   My harsh words usually follow her laughter but being truly angry with her over something so small is difficult.

              The next day, Tachibana assists in moving my things back to my room.  A phrase Tachibana uses when speaking of Kohinata finally overwhelms my curiosity.  “Hey, why do you call your friend ‘my sunshine’?”  Tachibana is quiet for a few moments before responding.

              “Being next to Miku was where I felt warmest and most comfortable.  It was a soft, gentle warmth, so ‘sunshine’ fit best.”

              “I see.”  Pondering that for a time, my thoughts are interrupted by Tachibana’s quiet giggle.  “What is it?”

              Tachibana smiles, her tone thoughtful.  “I was just thinking:  Miku was my sunshine, a soft, gentle warmth.  Chris, you’re like a flame.”  She reaches out, softly touching my scars.  “Your warmth is best with some distance between us.  If I get too close, I might burn myself.”  Her analogy renders me speechless for the rest of the move.  My mind races well into the night and over the next three days.

              Tachibana returns home the morning of the third day.  She will be spending two weeks at her home before returning to Lydian for the last two weeks of the holiday.  When I ask her why she decided on this plan, she simply tells me, in that bright, honest way of hers, that she wants to come back to keep me company, so that I would have someone to spend the holiday with.  Her thoughtful consideration only causes her previous analogy to haunt my waking hours even more, and I realize something during the two days before my medical exam:  I miss that idiot _a lot_.  Listless and distracted, my condition worries the medical staff, and my visit extends after time.  Once I finally escape from the medical wing, I seek the solace of my room.  Finally, I am free from the restricting bandages on my chest, and a brace now covers my forearm and hand, giving me almost normal functionality for the first time in nearly seven weeks.  Once the relief washes away, my mind turns to a much more complicated topic:  my crushing loneliness in Tachibana’s absence.  _What is going on?  None of this makes any sense…_   Sliding down against the door, I pull my knees to my chest, holding my head as my mind spins.

              Tachibana’s voice echoes in my mind and heart.  _“Your warmth is best with some distance between us.”_   Is that what I want, to keep her out, with a small divide always separating us?  Not having her nearby is proving agonizing, so saying I want our relationship to continue in this fashion would be a lie.  So, what _do_ I want?  Remembering Tachibana’s bright, honest smile, I respond in kind.  Lately, I am happiest when she smiles.  Is it wrong to desire such a thing, to wish for my friend to continue smiling?

              _Friend… Maybe I’m not taking that part seriously enough._   My smile fades, and my thoughts turn down a different path.  Tachibana considers me important enough to use only my first name, something she previously did only for Kohinata.  Should I do the same?  Think of her as “Hibiki” rather than “Tachibana”?  Doing so could help close the distance between us.  Deciding the attempt worthwhile, I close my eyes and focus.  “Hibiki…”  My lips whisper her name, savoring the flow of syllables.  Hibiki, my good friend and combat partner.  Hibiki, the one I desire to be closer to.  Hibiki, who knows more about me than anyone else.  Hibiki, the one I wish will always smile, for I want her to smile for me, and because of me.

              My train of thought derails, and I draw a surprised breath.  Is _that_ what I truly want, and if so, why?  Tachi-… Hibiki’s smile certainly brings me joy, but why would I want her to smile _for_ me?  It seems that I also desire to _give_ her reasons to smile, but, again, why?  Hibiki is the one person for whom I opened my heart.  Because of that, she is important to me, and I _will_ fight to keep her from sorrow and pain.  Other than that, what reasons can I give her to smile?  _Using that phrase sounds like I love her…_   Again, I am stunned by my own thoughts.  _No, it can’t be.  It’s impossible._   Many problems surround that line of thought, the most obvious being that we are both girls.  The second being:  how is it possible for _that idiot_ , of all people, to be the one I fall for?  _If love is truly something linked to fate, as so many are fond of saying, then fate must have one hell of a sense of humor._   I deny with every fiber of my being that it could be true.  Hibiki is too energetic, and I find her tiresome in most circumstances, yet I cannot deny that I feel at ease around her, or that my desire to be closer to her is real.  Shaking off my confusion and frustration, I decide that sleep is the best option, lest my fatigue cause more delusions.

              My emotions are tumultuous over the next four days.  My heart aches in Hibiki’s absence, and I struggle with my thoughts.  What are my true desires?  What does Hibiki mean to me?  Why is her absence so _painful_?  Being alone hardly bothered me before, so why does it affect me now?  Despite my efforts, I gain no answers, losing sleep in the process.  I greet the fifth day since I was freed from my restrictive bandages exhausted and irritable.  Answering a firm knock at my door, my grainy eyes perceive Kazanari’s concerned expression.  “Yukine, you look terrible.”

              “Thanks, because I didn’t know that already.”  My response is sharp and aggressive, as usual, prompting a resigned sigh from Kazanari.

              “I want to talk with you for a while, about Tachibana.”  Perking up when I hear her name, my attention focuses on the idol.  “Yukine?”

              “Give me a few minutes.  I don’t want to talk here.”  Kazanari could be a source of information, although I make a gamble by seeking her advice.  I want to be away from Lydian, in the event this goes badly.  I quickly return, feeling moderately refreshed and awake.  “Let’s go.”

              “Do you have somewhere in mind?”  Kazanari is intrigued yet maintains her composure.

              “You pick.  I don’t really have a plan for this anyway.”  Muttering the second part, I steel myself against whatever embarrassment awaits me.

              “ _You_ are asking _me_ for advice?”  Sitting outside a small café not far from Lydian, Kazanari’s skepticism is well founded.  “Are you certain you are well, Yukine?”  I grind my teeth in frustration, hands tightening around my drink.  _The idol is making this more difficult than necessary_.

              “I’m not sick.  Though I didn’t want to ask you for help, it involves the idiot, so we can satisfy your request as well.”  Kazanari quietly considers my words, taking the occasional sip from her drink.

              “Alright, Yukine.  We will do this your way,” She holds up a finger as she continues, “with one condition.”  I am not going to like this, but, lacking other options, I agree.  “You _must_ be honest with me, about everything.  No hiding or dodging like usual.”  Kazanari’s ultimatum is much worse than I anticipated.  Talking about Hibiki with that condition in place… I would bare my heart to Kazanari, when I am yet unsure what I want from Hibiki.

              “Yukine?”  Stunned, I have yet to respond to the idol.  I start when she waves her hand before my eyes.  Sighing, she returns to her seat.  “Alright, I understand.  We will begin simply.  How is Tachibana?”

              “Just fine, why?”  My smart remark earns a shin kick and stern stare from Kazanari.  “Ow!  What the hell?”

              “The truth, Yukine.”  Her eyes burn into me.  “I am very serious about this.  Everyone in Section 2 is worried about her, and about _you_.”  The only choice left to me is compliance.

              “Haaah… Fine.  Listen well, because I won’t repeat myself.”  At first, talking about Hibiki is difficult.  My words remind me of her absence, and my heart strains.  Words start flowing more easily, and my tone becomes lighter, while my inner turmoil calms.  I inform Kazanari that Hibiki has made excellent progress but will need time to heal on her own.  I tell of how she smiles more naturally, and that she is brighter and more energetic than she has been in weeks.  I keep talking, warmth filling my heart with every word.  I enjoy talking about my friend so much that I notice Kazanari’s baffled expression too late.  Grinding to a halt, I wait for the idol to speak.

              Kazanari takes longer to recover than I expect.  Clearing her throat, she carefully considers her words.  “You really like Tachibana, do you not?”  I carefully choose my next words, as well.

              “I do.”  Of that much, I _am_ certain.  “I didn’t think much of her before, but the idiot grows on you once spend that much time around her.”

              “That may be so, but it is not the whole truth.”  Kazanari’s focused gaze pins me to my seat.  “You should have seen yourself, Yukine.  You practically _shone_ while talking about Tachibana.  If I did not know better, I would say that you love her,” My breath stops, and my heartbeat pounds in my ears.  Kazanari pinches the bridge of her nose in confusion, “but that is absurd.  You are both female, and you have never shown interest in _anyone_ …”  She trails off as she notices my distress.  “Yukine?”

              “That’s just it, isn’t it?”  My voice is quiet and shaky.  “I don’t really know _what_ I feel for that idiot.”  I bury my face in my hands to hide any tears I might shed.  “I miss her _so much_.  She has only been gone a week.  I know she will return, but it doesn’t help at all.”  A hand rests on my shoulder, and I look up, vision swimming through unshed tears.

              “Shall we go elsewhere, Yukine?  Somewhere more private?”  Numb with shock, I simply nod, and Kazanari escorts me back to my room.  Seating me on the bed, she pulls my desk chair over to sit facing me.  “Yukine?”  She gently guides my focus.  “Is that what you want to ask me about, what you feel for Tachibana?”  I silently nod, still overwhelmed by everything that happened.

              We sit in silence for a time, my emotions in disarray.  I am unsure how to begin, and part of me denies that Hibiki is _that_ important to me.  I know why that part of me exists:  In the past, I have been used and betrayed often.  Kazanari interrupts my thoughts.  “Yukine, what do you want from Tachibana?”  Lately, I ask myself that question all the time.  I have only one answer.

              “I don’t know.”  Shuffling nervously, I speak quietly.  “I know that I want her to be happy.  Lately, seeing that idiot’s smile fills me with joy, and I want to protect that smile.”

              “Any friend wants that, Yukine.”  Kazanari’s argument is valid.  I think the same, but that answer does not satisfy me.  It does not explain why my heart aches in Hibiki’s absence, or why I feel so _empty_ without her nearby.  It does not explain why I stare at her, or the myriad other questions I have.  “Let us approach this differently.”  Kazanari returns me to the conversation.  “What do you want to _be_ for Tachibana?”

              I had not thought about it that way.  Wrapped up in myself, I neglected to think about how I want Hibiki to see _me_.  Kazanari waits patiently while I ponder.  Hibiki sees me as an important friend, one with whom she is very close and trusts with everything.  That fact brings me happiness, but, deep in my heart, I am unsatisfied.  Thinking about it like this, I wish to be more than a friend.  Which means that I desire the same from Hibiki, right?  More than a friend, she is my most important person, the one I cherish most.  I wish for Hibiki to smile, and _I_ want to be the one next to her.  My expression must have betrayed my thoughts, since Kazanari interjects.

              “I believe you found an answer, Yukine.”  I meet her eyes, and she warns me, her tone serious.  “Know that Tachibana will likely not share those emotions with you, and, even if she does, there are many who will not approve.”  She stands to leave, and my voice stops her at the door.

              “Thank you.”  Kazanari’s stunned expression is almost worth the embarrassment.  She leaves after a few moments, muttering that I must be a different person.  In truth, I _do_ feel that way.  My mind is clear, and I eagerly await Hibiki’s return.  Now that I am aware of my desires, dark thoughts creep into my mind.  I ignore them, satisfied, for now, that I understand a small part of myself.

              At my medical check two days later, the medical staff wavers between being ecstatic over my recovery, and worried that I recovered _too_ well.  Their opinion hardly matters.  The only thing on my mind is that Hibiki will return in five days, just in time for the weekend.  While it aches in her absence, my heart fills with warmth when I think of her imminent return.  It is a complicated feeling, but one I now understand.  The day of her return, I await her at the gate, wishing to be the first to receive her smile.  Spotting me, she waves vigorously as she approaches.  I respond in my usual fashion once she closes the distance between us.  Laughing at my typical rudeness, Hibiki smiles, and her smile confirms everything that I desire, what I feel for her.  I want her to always smile like this, pure and from the heart, and I wish to be next to her, giving her every reason to smile, and receiving that smile in return.


	9. Counterpoint

_Melody and harmony follow separate paths, working together to form a complex weave.  If only that dichotomy could work in my favor…_

 

              The remaining two weeks of summer vacation are a mixed blessing.  Spending time with Hibiki fills me with joy, more than I ever thought possible, yet being around her is also difficult.  I cannot allow my love for her to show, not yet.  Even without Kazanari’s doubt and warnings, I understand that my love for Hibiki is outside the norm.  There exists a high possibility that confessing to her will backfire in the worst way possible.  I am not emotionally strong enough to handle that possibility, so I hide my true emotions, like always.

              I realize something the first week:  I have somewhere I want to be.  After so long with nowhere to call “home”, I finally found it.  My place is at Hibiki’s side, and the thought of losing her terrifies me even more.  To prevent that, I resolve to keep the truth from her.  The dichotomy of my fear and desire creates a longing in my heart.  I love Hibiki, but I feel that I cannot act on my love.  To me, she is always just out of reach, someone I desire, but can never have.  At least, not in the way I wish.

              Despite my worries, I continue behaving as usual.  Freed from the brace on my right hand, I begin physical therapy the second week.  _Finally, after two and a half months, I can start recovering my strength._   Hibiki accompanies me, and her presence improves my motivation.  My strength returns at a rapid pace.  The medical and research teams assume this is because my armor absorbed most of the damage that would have affected other tissues, and I only need to work back what strength I lost from having my hand immobilized.  I will probably only need a couple weeks to be back in fighting condition.  A collective sigh fills the room, most audibly from Hibiki and myself.

              Classes resume at Lydian, and we step back into a normal routine.  Well, mostly normal.  I seek Hibiki out in my free time, usually peeking out from behind cover once I find her.  Sometimes she is alone, others she is spending time with her usual trio of friends.  I hesitate to join her when she is part of a group, but she always waves me over if she notices me.  Hibiki’s friends are all good girls, if cheeky at times, yet I am uncomfortable around those I am unfamiliar with, so I avoid the scenario when possible.

              One week after the start of term, I complete my physical therapy.  I finally return to normal, with the exceptions of my scars and newfound love for Hibiki.  I have little time to enjoy it, however.  While walking back after my final session, both Hibiki’s and my transponders go off.  _This timing is ridiculous._   We answer and are greeted by old man Kazanari’s voice.  “We detected an outbreak of Noise.  Report to the rendezvous point ASAP.”

              “Understood.”  Hibiki and I nod to each other, parting ways to fetch our individual earpieces before heading to our waiting helicopter.  I arrive last, and the three of us pile in, my own breathing heavier than the melee fighters’.

              “Welcome aboard, girls!”  The pilot’s jovial greeting is at odds with the severity of the situation.  Lifting off, he speeds towards the drop point, hauling his cargo of Symphogear wielders.  For the first leg of the flight, I am lost in my thoughts.  Old man Kazanari contacted me once I separated from Hibiki.

              _“Chris-kun, I need you to watch over Hibiki-kun.  You’re the closest one to her now and have the best chance of helping her remain who she is.”_   He placed a heavy responsibility on me, and it is one that I would pass to no one.  If Hibiki _does_ lose control tonight, what am I supposed to say?  To stop being an idiot and shape up?  That black is not her color?  That she has people who care about her?  That I am here for her?  That I love her and cannot bear to see her like this?  _I really don’t want to use that last one._   I will improvise if the need arises.

              I survey the team for a few moments.  Kazanari has assumed stoic warrior mode and is difficult to read.  Hibiki appears determined, but she shifts nervously.  No Noise materializations have occurred since Kohinata’s death almost three months ago, so none of us know how well she will handle encountering the Noise.  I gently nudge her, and she focuses on me.  “How are you doing?”

              “I’m fine.  Everything’s fine.”  I learned, over time, that Hibiki uses this phrase when she wants to deflect concern.  It is not the response I hoped for, but I must have faith in her progress.

              “I have your back out there.  Make sure you have mine.”  Hibiki smiles weakly and returns to watching the city below.  My friend is on Chris-guarding duty tonight, so I will be first into the fire if something goes wrong.  I watch the city along with her, and the myriad lights help distract me.  Within minutes, the pilot’s voice chimes in over the earpiece.

              “Approaching the drop point, get ready.”  The three of us brace.  “Go!”

              “ _Balwisyall nescell Gungnir tron._ ”  Gungnir’s song is the first I hear while leaping from the aircraft.  _That’s either good or very,_ very _bad._   Ichaival’s transformation completes as we hit the ground.

              “Ack!”  Utilizing too much momentum, I end in a heap as I overbalance.  Cursing, I stand as Kazanari and Hibiki approach to coordinate, Gungnir venting steam.  “Could you _not_ leave a crater one of these days, oaf?”  Rubbing the back of her head, Hibiki’s embarrassed laugh proves that she never considered the idea.  _She’s such a moron, sometimes._   Kazanari orders tactics as Hibiki and I regain our focus.

              “This outbreak is smaller than the last, and there is no dreadnought presence.  We will use standard formation and tactics.  I will handle the front while Yukine clears the skies.  Tachibana, you will be guarding her back until the skies are clear.”  Hibiki and I give our affirmative, and Kazanari marches out ahead of us.  Watching her back, I wonder what she thinks of me.  She has not mentioned my love for Hibiki, nor has she told anyone else, from what I can tell.  I am grateful for her discretion, but I will be damned before I tell her that.

              “Chris, we need to move.  Tsubasa-san won’t have backup if we hang back.”  Hibiki nudges me out of my reverie, and we run to catch up.

              “Yeah, yeah, I know.  Just make sure you keep me covered.”

              “Leave it to me!”  Hibiki slams her armored fists together.  “I’ll make sure they never get a shot at you!”  _Well, she’s enthusiastic, at the very least._   The two of us round the final corner as Kazanari crashes into the first ranks of the Noise, Ame no Habakiri’s song floating on the evening breeze as she cuts through every opponent within reach of her blade.  Now that we arrived, it is my turn to introduce myself.

              “Alright, you bastards!  Time to die!”  Ignoring the initial transformation to crossbows, I engage my guns and let fly my wrath.  Ichaival responds to the burning rage rising from my heart, so I know my song is angry tonight.  I feel it in the words my lips form and the raw sensation in my throat created by screaming, rather than singing normally.  These soulless creations stole Hibiki’s childhood friend and caused pain and suffering for us both.  My scars serve as a reminder, and my revenge manifests in Ichaival.

              Thousands of rounds shred my airborne foes, accompanied by a rocket barrage whenever I see fit to send explosive death their way.  _It burns.  I’ve never been this angry before._   I raged against the world and my fate many times over the past eight years, but never have I felt like this.  My mind is consumed with destroying the creations that dare invade our world to wreak havoc and usher forth chaos.  However, despite the anger and red haze, one thought slips through:  _Hibiki is trusting me_.  That revelation snaps my focus back, and I return to more sane thought processes.  _She puts so much faith in me, I need to prove that it is well-founded._

              Most of my flying opponents are down, so I pause briefly to listen to Hibiki as she guards my back.  Gungnir’s melody is melancholic, but Hibiki’s words, like mine, are those of rage, yet she maintains control of herself, for now.  Fueled by Gungnir’s synergy with her body, her strikes carry more power as she sings her fury and pain.  Noise are reduced to ash after meeting the crushing force of her fists and boots, each strike embodying her grief and loss.  Offering a small prayer that she remains the Hibiki I cherish, I return to clearing the skies.

              Soon after, I lower my guns, breathing hard.  The skies are clear in record time, and Hibiki shifts to help Kazanari clear the front.  Our idiot minimized excess damage while guarding my back but holds nothing back while clearing the front.  My eyes track several Noise, tossed airborne by the rupturing street.  Hibiki leaps after, pulling a gauntlet into her signature pile-bunker before driving the entire group into the ground with earth-shattering force.

              Sighing, I shake my head.  _That idiot never changes.  If only she could be_ my _idiot…_   Disengaging Ichaival’s weapons, I slap my cheeks to focus myself.  This area is still a battlefield.  My longing for Hibiki has no place here.  Hibiki maintains her sense of self, and the reduced stress allows my mind to wander.  The two front-line fighters split up for their final sweeps, heralding an end to this mission.  The day ends in our favor, and I heave a sigh of relief.

              “Good night, you two.”

              “Good night, Tsubasa-san.”

              “Later.”  Kazanari waves as she heads to her room, while I continue with Hibiki.  I will not leave her alone until I _know_ that she will be alright.  I have faith under normal circumstances, but tonight is different.  Hibiki tries to brush me off in her usual manner.

              “Chris, I know you’re worried, but I’m alright.”

              “No.  I’m not leaving you like this.”  She sulks, and I ignore it.  “I _need_ to know that you will be alright, that you’re safe when I leave your side tonight.”  _I may have said too much just now._   Hibiki’s expression carries all her confusion to the surface.  “Humor me, alright?”  Speechless, she nods.  Once we arrive at her door, Hibiki tries to part ways.  I grab her shoulder to stop her.  “Hibiki, _please_.  I need the truth from you.  Will you be alright?”  I am too serious, and desperate, to blush when I use her name, but she smiles in return.

              “Chris, you called me by name.”  My worried gaze becomes a heated glare, and she cringes.  _Damn it!  That makes my heart ache so much._   I remain firm, and Hibiki eventually relents.  She shows me her shaking hands, and finally speaks honestly.  “The truth is that I nearly lost myself out there tonight.  I saw the Noise and… I don’t know.  My vision started going black, and I could feel the darkness creeping in.”  She pauses to steady herself with a ragged breath, her voice thick with emotion when she continues.  “I wanted to welcome it, Chris.  I wished to let my anger, sadness and pain take over and destroy, no, _annihilate_ the Noise.  Whatever happened to me didn’t matter.”  Hibiki meets my worried gaze, and reaches out, gently resting her palm against my cheek.  “One thing held me back.”  Her thumb traces my lowest scar, and resisting my urges consumes my willpower.

              “I remembered that I have someone very important to me.  Someone who would be _furious_ if I let all her hard work go to waste.”  _No._   “She put up with me for so long, and shares so much of herself with me,” _Please, don’t say it,_ “my most important friend.”  _I won’t be able to hold back in this situation._   “Chris, _you_ are what saved me tonight.”

              I reach out, unable to stop myself, unsure that I even _want_ to stop myself.  I pull Hibiki into a tight embrace as my heart overflows.  Her body tenses, for good reason.  I have never embraced her.  Been embraced _by_ her, and lent her my chest to cry on, sure, but never this.  “Chris?”  Hibiki’s concern fills her voice.  “What’s wrong?”  She tries to push back from me, and my pleading words stop her.

              “Don’t.  Please.  Let me be like this for a few minutes.”  Hibiki hesitates, but eventually places her hands on my shoulders in a half-embrace.  Satisfied that she will not push me away, I relish the sensations that bombard me:  the smell and texture of her hair, the light scent of sweat that lingers from the battle tonight.  I hear her breath, steady, and closer than it has ever been.  I cherish her warmth and follow the rhythm of her heart as it beats against my chest.  These are only a small part of what I wish for, what I desire, but feel I can never truly have.  _Don’t cry.  If I cry, I can’t avoid telling her my true feelings, that I love her as much as I do._   I indulge myself in Hibiki’s kindness for those few short minutes before her voice drags me back to reality.

              “Chris?”

              “What is it?”

              “Are you alright now?”

              “Yeah…”  I reluctantly pull away from Hibiki’s warmth.  I avert my gaze, too ashamed of my own weakness to meet her eyes.

              “Chris, it’s alright.”  Hibiki’s gentle touch guides my violet eyes to her gold-brown.  “You don’t have to be strong _all_ the time.  That’s what friends are for.”  _Friends…_ That word hurts so much in recent days.  “I’m here for you if you need me.”  She flashes me a smile.  Hibiki’s bright, honest smile is the one thing I want to myself, the one thing I wish to give her, always.  “Besides, you’re scary when you’re angry, so I don’t think I’ll be losing control anytime soon.”  _Once an idiot, always an idiot._

              I admonish her with a light chop.  “You shouldn’t tell people that to their face, idiot.”

              “Ow!  Ehehehe.”

              We part ways after that.  Hibiki consumes my focus during the short walk to my room.  While not the brightest person, I love her dearly just the way she is.  Now that I had a small taste of my dream, I crave it even more.  I long for Hibiki to be my idiot, and mine alone.  I want her to know just how much I love her and receive her love in return.  However, a coward’s heart beats within my breast, and I know that I will leave our relationship as it is, unchanged due to my weak will.

              Hibiki only sees me as a friend, albeit a very important one.  The line I wish to cross is far from where we stand, and I am terrified of losing her.  I yearn to be by her side.  I wish to _belong_ there, like it is natural to be together.  I cannot accomplish that by rushing blind.  If I drive her away, I will lose her smile, and it will be impossible to give her _any_ reason to smile if she hates me.  My heart heavy, I fall once more into my dreams.  Dreams of a future that may never be realized.


	10. Crescendo

_Gradually increasing in volume, the song becomes overpowering.  Outside events influence the composition, and I find myself desperate and broken…_

 

              I behave as normally as possible around Hibiki after that night.  Even someone as dense as her will suspect something if I fail to act as usual.  Unfortunately, I am not successful.  I have trouble meeting her eyes, and I linger around her until the last possible moment during our longer breaks.  I remember everything about that night:  her warmth, her scent, the texture of her hair and the beat of her heart.  My body aches to feel it once more, and my heart is torn.  I manage to keep myself in check through a combination of willpower and apprehension.  If I ruin what I have now, recovering will take too long.

              Hibiki’s concern for me grows, and I cannot blame her, only do everything possible to dodge her inquiries without causing her to hate me.  This pattern continues for ten days before Hibiki eventually corners me.  Answering a knock on my door, I discover a hurt and angry Hibiki on the other side.  “H-Hey.”  I avert my gaze, my voice timid.  “What do you need?”

              “Chris.”  Hibiki’s tone pierces into me.  “We need to talk.”

              “Now’s not really-”

              “Yukine Chris.”  I wince.  She has _never_ used my full name.  I overstepped my bounds and may soon regret it.  “We. Need. To. Talk.”  Sighing in defeat, I step aside.  Hibiki storms into my room, her eyes glistening with angry tears.  I shut the door and lean against it as she turns to face me.

              “What do y-” Hibiki’s open palm slams into the door by my left ear, and she leans in, her eyes blazing.  _Oh, shit._   My heart pounds against my ribcage.  Her face is so close, but the anger and pain she broadcasts keeps me in line.  _I really messed up this time._

              “Why are you doing this, Chris?”  Hibiki’s voice is quiet and carries the weight of her inquest.  “Why avoid talking to me?”

              “It’s not something I can talk about with you.”

              “That hurts.”  Tears spill down her cheeks.  “You can talk with me about anything.  Do you not trust me?”

              “Of course, I trust you.”  I am offended that she even considers that a possibility.

              “Then why, Chris?  I’m here for you, like you were there for me.”  I hate seeing her like this.  Hibiki’s heart is wounded once more, but, this time, _I_ am the cause.  I finally break down, tears spilling from my eyes as I sink down between Hibiki and the door.  “Chris?”  She kneels beside me, worry painting her features as I weep.  “What’s wrong?”

              “I’m sorry, Hibiki.  I’m so sorry.”  Hibiki gently embraces me as I weep.  Her attempts to comfort me are futile, for my tears continue to fall.  My weakness and fear caused me to hurt the one I love most.  I never wanted this.  Being abandoned and alone again would be better.  I can handle being alone.  Hurting Hibiki is much, much worse in comparison.  I cry for a long time, and Hibiki stays with me, her great kindness overpowering her anger.  Several minutes pass in silence before she speaks.

              “Chris?  Are you alright?”

              “No.”  I will not lie or avoid her anymore, not after hurting her.  Hibiki is immediately concerned by my response.

              “Is it something I can help with?”

              “I don’t know.  I truly don’t know.”

              “Chris?”

              “I can’t tell you right now.  I need time to think and prepare my heart.”  Hibiki deserves the truth, but a confession is impossible right now.

              “Prepare your… Chris, what is this about?”

              “Hibiki, please,” I grip her sleeve, desperation in my voice, “I can’t do this right now.  I need time…”  She slowly nods after processing my request.  “Thank you.”

              “Will the weekend be enough time?”  That gives me three days.  Declining her generosity would be foolish.

              “Yeah.”

              “Will you be alright if I leave?”

              “Maybe not, but I need to be alone.”  Hibiki gives her understanding and helps me stand before leaving.  I lie on my bed, numb and depressed.  _This weekend…_   I will confess everything to Hibiki:  my love for her, my fears of being rejected.  My heart bare, it will be her decision whether she chooses to accept or reject me.

              Sleep eludes me during the three-day interval.  My emotions see-saw in my idle moments, and my mind is stuck in overdrive.  Many possibilities regarding my confession cross my mind, and few are good.  Staying together with Hibiki is difficult to imagine at this point, even as a friend.  Despite my fears, my heart wishes the weekend will go well.  That small, quiet hope drives me onward.

              Hibiki’s knock announces her arrival, and I force my exhausted body to answer.  We spent no time around each other since our confrontation, so Hibiki’s surprise is warranted.  “Chris!  You look terrible.  Are you alright?”  In addition to exhaustion, I spent a good deal of time weeping.  Certain that I will lose Hibiki today, my tears came unbidden and often over the previous days.  Even now, I am reluctant to confess to her.  I steel my heart as well as possible.

              “I’m not really alright, but I will manage.”  Hibiki’s constant concern helps push me forward, reminding me that I have not lost her yet.  The privilege of calling her my friend is mine for a while longer.  “Can we talk here?  I… don’t really want other people to hear this.”

              “Of course.”  We seat ourselves on the bed, a small gap between us.  Having her so close will make this difficult, but I can avoid meeting her eyes this way.  Taking several deep breaths to steady myself, the attempt fails.  My heart races, and I am choked by anxiety.  Hibiki’s gentle, reassuring touch on my shoulder causes my eyes to meet hers.  “Chris, it’s alright.  Take your time.  I’m not going anywhere until I hear what you have to say.”  Her deep kindness is only one of many reasons I love her.

              I manage to calm myself enough to speak.  “Can I ask something of you?”  Hibiki nods her response.  “Will you let me talk for a while?  I have a lot to say, and I need to say it all at once.”  She agrees, and I take one last breath before speaking.  I tell Hibiki that she has become an important piece of my life.  Of how she slowly worked her way into my heart and is now irreplaceable.  Hibiki listens quietly, but nothing I say differs from telling her that she has become an important friend.  My true desires follow the orthodox-sounding prelude.

              “I believe a small part of my heart always considered you important.”  That explained much of my strange behavior _before_ I fell in love with her.  “However, over the past several weeks, all I think about is you.”  My resolve strengthens, now that I am speaking.  I turn to Hibiki and her confused expression.  _Yeah, I thought so._   I need to be more direct.  “Hibiki, your smile means everything to me.”  I clasp her right hand between both of mine.  “My heart fills with warmth when you smile your bright, honest smile.  I want to give you every reason in the world to smile, and I want your smile to be for me.”  I close my eyes, preparing myself.

              “Hibiki, I love you.  I wish to be next to you, always.”  Startled by my confession, she opens her mouth to speak.  I place a finger on her lips to silence her.  “Please, there’s just a little more.”  Hibiki nods, and I reluctantly lower my hand from her soft lips.  “I love you, and the thought of losing you terrifies me.  I worried that telling you would only drive you away, so I hid my emotions, like a coward.  As a result, you remained just out of reach.”  My hands tremble against Hibiki’s, and I close my eyes against welling tears.

              “The other night, I lost control.  You told me how important I am to you, that I am what keeps you as yourself.  I was incredibly happy, but ashamed by my weakness.  Facing you after that was difficult.”  Tears roll down my cheeks, and emotion thickens my voice.  “I want _more_.  I wish to feel you close again.  That desire drove me mad, and I avoided talking with you to hide it.”  I tighten my grip on her hand.  “I know this isn’t normal, that I feel this way for you, another girl.  I can’t help it.  Hibiki, my ‘home’ is with you.  Being next to you is my greatest wish right now.”  My tears overwhelm my resolve, and I speak between sobs.  “I don’t want to lose you, but I can’t stop you if you reject me.”

              After that final phrase, I cry for a time.  Rather than embracing me, Hibiki leaves her hand clasped between mine, and comforts me with a gentle hand on my shoulder.  Once I fall silent, Hibiki speaks.  “Is that everything you want to tell me?”  Incapable of anything else, I nod in reply.  Hibiki softly sighs, and her response is gentle, but serious.  “That’s a lot to take in at once.  I don’t really know how I should respond…”  Hibiki trails off.  Fear surfaces, and I ruthlessly stamp it down.  “Chris, can you give me some time?  I don’t really understand what you’re asking of me, so I want to think about this seriously.”  She gently lifts my eyes to hers.  “Will you do that?  Give me some time, and I’ll give you a serious answer, for an important friend.”  Speechless, I nod as disbelief and hope fill my heart.

              Hibiki’s words are not the rejection I fear.  I never planned for this.  Relief washes over me, and exhaustion crashes into my consciousness.  I fall into Hibiki, whose concern is immediate.  “Chris?!  Are you sick?”

              “Tired…”  That word is my last before falling into a hopeful, yet restless sleep.


	11. Finale

_This complex melody of emotion and desire nears its conclusion, and the voices of those involved sing out strong.  The end is yet a mystery…_

 

              Waiting for Hibiki’s reply is agonizing.  I constantly sway between hopeful joy and crushing despair.  I want to believe that a chance exists.  Hibiki did not reject me at that time, though I am confident that her love and mine are not the same.  However, I know Hibiki well.  She might accept my confession to avoid hurting me, yet not share my love.  I do not want that.  I wish to be together only if Hibiki wants the same.

              My thoughts grow darker over the passing days.  Hibiki said she needs time to give me a serious answer.  I respect that, yet I am unable to find her around campus for the first two days.  I refuse to visit her room, since that is intrusive when she wants to think.  Deluding myself into thinking that Hibiki abandoned me already, I shut myself in my room outside of classes, crying much of the time.

              I _want_ to believe in the hope in my heart and my trust for Hibiki, yet I spent too much time previously convincing myself that I should not confess to Hibiki unless I am _certain_ it might go well.  I confessed under less-than-ideal circumstances, and apprehension gnaws away at my hope.  Fighting to remain somewhat positive, I greet the weekend mentally and emotionally drained.

              A knock at my door sets me racing to answer it.  The only people that visit my room are Hibiki and Kazanari, the former more than the latter.  I freeze as my hand touches the doorknob.  While I ache to see Hibiki, my thoughts are clouded by anxiety.  Stifling it as much as possible, I peek out around the door.  Hibiki is dressed up well for the weekend, and she beams when she sees me peek out.  “Chris!  Let’s have fun for a while!”  _Huh?_   Hibiki’s ideas are usually random, but this came from nowhere.  Hibiki takes a moment to explain.  “You haven’t taken a chance to enjoy yourself recently, so I thought we could take some time and not think about anything serious for a few hours.”  Her expression becomes serious, with a hint of sadness underlying.  “You spend so much time and effort on me.  You should focus on yourself today.”

              My heart pulls against my self-restraint.  Hibiki’s kindness runs deep, as always, and her request proves that she cares about me a great deal.  The idea of taking time off is very like her, and I allow a small smile to slip through.  Whether Hibiki found an answer in uncertain, but she is clearly thinking about me.  “Alright, I’ll humor you for today.”  Hibiki’s face lights up.  “Wait here while I change.”  My collection of casual clothing is limited.  I choose a simple outfit and join Hibiki in the hall.  Her excitement overpowers her restraint, and she practically drags me to the station.  “Do you have a plan for this?”  I dread her answer.

              “Nope.”  I sigh, and Hibiki explains.  “We’ll do whatever catches our interest.  Having a plan kills half the fun.”  She flashes me a smile, and I relent.  Being the foremost person in Hibiki’s mind right now, I should humor her randomness for a while.  A few hours later, I regret that decision.

              Hibiki’s energy level dwarfs mine, and she pulls me along to everything that catches her eye:  games, clothes, various shops, food.  _Especially_ food.  Her appetite is strong as ever, and I wonder where she fits it all.  Hibiki even coerced me into joining her in a photo sticker booth.  I am exhausted after so much walking and being dragged along, so Hibiki fetches drinks while I rest on a bench.  I examine the string of photos from the booth while Hibiki is away.

              My face is flushed with embarrassment in most of them, while Hibiki is smiling brightly, our cheeks nearly touching.  I grow wistful as I burn the images into my mind.  In my hand, I hold the embodiment of my desires, immortalized in an eternal moment.  Hibiki, happy and smiling, with me at her side.  Her gold-brown and my light violet eyes gaze toward the same place, the same potential future.  I struggle against tears.  Thoughts of this nature are banned on this outing, per Hibiki’s orders.  A few tears manage to slip through, and I quickly wipe them away.

              “Chris?”  After setting my tea beside me, Hibiki seats herself next to me, as well.  “Is everything alright?”  She probably arrived while I was wiping away my tears.  I nod, rehydrating myself while trying to avoid speaking with her.  Hibiki is quiet for several moments before pulling out her own set of photos.  “Hey, Chris?”  Her serious tone draws my attention.  “What do you see when you look at these?  I only see my friend and I enjoying ourselves.”  Her eyes meet mine.  “Will you share with me?”

              Hibiki’s unexpected question sets my mind and heart racing.  Her curiosity surprises me, but she deserves a serious answer.  Hibiki is trying to understand what I want from her, what being _us_ would mean to me.  Closing my eyes, I contemplate my answer.  Several moments pass before I open them and reply.  “I see my heart’s desire.  You smile so brightly, and I am where I wish to be.”  Softly tracing Hibiki’s frozen smile, my eyes focus past the photos, attempting to see what lies beyond.  “Within this small piece of frozen time, I see a future that I desperately want, but am uncertain I can ever have.”  Trailing into silence, I glance toward Hibiki.

              Her thoughts hide behind her complicated expression.  Hibiki stares hard at her own photos, attempting to see what I see.  Her effort brings a smile to my lips.  Gently placing my hand on hers, I reassure her.  “Don’t strain yourself.  I don’t expect you to see the same thing I do.”  She sulks as she stores them away.  I watch Hibiki in my peripheral while slowly finishing my tea.  Her manner is subdued now that our discussion became serious.  She stands and faces me.

              “Will you walk with me?”

              “I suppose I will humor you for a while longer.”  Hibiki leads me to an overlook of the city.  Out of breath after the walk and long stairway, I suppress my urge to hit her.  _She considers_ this _a walk?_   Hibiki gazes out over the city below while I recover.  “Well, we’re here.  What now?”

              “I came here a while ago, with Miku and Tsubasa-san.”  Storytelling is the last thing I expect, but Hibiki has my full attention.  “It was before the Lunar Attack, before you and I really came to know each other.”  She softly traces the railing as words flow.  “I really like the view here, and it became an important place to me.”  She meets my eyes.  “I brought you here to share this scenery with you, Chris.  Can we do that?  Just watch for a few minutes?”  Unable to guess her true objective, I simply nod.

              The view _is_ impressive.  Especially when the late afternoon sun dyes the world a different hue.  Leaning lightly on the railing, I absorb everything regarding this moment.  Hibiki showed me another piece of her heart, and I will ensure that I remember.  After a few short minutes, Hibiki breaks the reverent silence.  “Chris, I…” Her hesitation lasts only a moment, “I want to answer your confession.”

              My heartbeat thuds in my ears while nerves dry my mouth.  Whatever happens in the following minutes will either be wonderful or crush my heart completely.  My negative thoughts outweigh any positivity.  Did Hibiki show me this to soften the blow?  Am I losing her?  Can I move forward after this?  One thought, much different than the rest, rises to the surface of the maelstrom.  _Maybe she wants this to be the first of many memories for_ us.  Hibiki’s voice interrupts any chance to dwell on my thoughts.

              “Chris, the truth is… I don’t understand very much of what you told me.”  Her grip tightens on the railing.  “I tried _so hard_ over the past week, and I failed every time.  I even talked a little with Tsubasa-san.”  I twitch slightly at that.  “Her advice helped, kinda, but what I want to say comes from me, from my heart alone.”  Hibiki faces me, and I do likewise.  My hand clamps down on the guardrail, both to steady myself and ease my nerves.  “Chris, I love you, but I don’t think my love is the same as yours.”  Hibiki breathes to steady herself while mine stops in my chest.  “Regardless of that I… want to accept your confession.”  _This is a lie.  She can’t be serious._   Shaking my head in denial, I bury my face in my hands.

              “No, this isn’t happening.”  My tears burn in my eyes.  “You’re saying this to make me feel better, to avoid hurting me.”  Hands on my temples raise my eyes, and Hibiki’s face enters my blurred vision.  “Hibiki?”

              “You do this _every_ _time_ , Chris.”  Tears spill down Hibiki’s cheeks, matching my own.  “I didn’t know why before, but I do now.  Whenever you thought I couldn’t see, your sadness and pain would show.  It _hurts_ to see you like this.”  She pulls me into a tight embrace, her body trembling.  “You’re _allowed_ to be happy.  Stop being unfair to yourself.”

              “No, I can’t.”  I shake my head against her chest.  “I _want_ to be happy.  I really do, but my happiness isn’t possible if our love for each other isn’t the same.”  My voice becomes quiet and resigned.  “You already said that you don’t understand, so it’s hopeless.”  Hands touch my temples once more, and my vision flashes white before I have time to register anything else.  _What the hell?_   I stagger back, Hibiki’s strong arms catching me before I fall.  My vision clears and my head aches.  Hibiki massages her forehead, one arm still around me.  _Did she… Did she seriously just_ headbutt _me?_

              “Chris, you’re not listening to me.  Yes, I’m saying that I don’t understand your love.  I’m also saying that I want to accept your confession.  That is because I _want_ to understand.”  Hibiki’s tone becomes gentler.  “I need your help to understand, and the only idea that makes sense is to accept your confession.”  She gives me her smile, and a small seed of hope trembles in my heart.  “I may not be the best person for the role, but please take care of me.”

              Hope finally blossoms into acceptance, and I fall to my knees.  Hibiki kneels with me, enveloping me in her strong, gentle warmth.  Tears stream from my eyes, carrying with them the joy in my heart.  “Hibiki, I love you.  I love you so much.”  Hibiki embraces me until my tears stop, helping me stand once they do.  I gently place my hand over hers as we return to watching the city, next to my beloved at last.  What the future holds in store is impossible to predict, but one thing is certain:  I will face that future with Hibiki at my side, for a time, at least.


	12. Fool's Aria

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a small extra chapter from Hibiki's perspective when Chris collapses after her confession.

_Even the fool carries their own song, even if it rarely harmonizes with anyone else.  This fool’s song resounds clear and strong…_

 

              “Chris?!  Are you sick?”

              “Tired.”  Chris falls asleep as she leans against me.  Even when we roomed together, Chris had a hard time sleeping some nights, even once her injuries were mostly healed.  _Well, she kinda_ did _have a lot on her mind._   I feel responsible for this.  I drove my precious friend into a corner, and her confession to me is the result.  I carefully carry Chris to her bed, and sit nearby, watching over her rest.

              _“Hibiki, I love you.  I wish to be next to you, always.”_   My heart is troubled as Chris’ words spin in my mind.  I consider Chris very important, but her love for me appears much different than what I feel for her.  I focus on her sleeping form.  She _is_ sleeping, but not well.  I place my hand in hers to help ease her rest.  Chris’ breathing comes easier and more even as I examine her features.

              Her scars ruin the image somewhat, but Chris is beautiful.  Her expressions around me are softer lately, yet she still appears angry most of the time.  I understand why, yet I regret the waste.  I softly trace her facial scars.  They are close to normal temperature now, but their appearance before they healed will always haunt me.  I hurt this girl so badly; I nearly killed her.  Despite that, Chris gives me her kindness and care.

              I sit for a time, watching over my precious friend.  Chris’ breathing calms gradually, and, once she rests easily, I return to my room.  It still feels empty, but my emotions are more stable.  I still miss Miku.  We were friends for so long, but the memories become less painful every day, thanks to Chris’ patience and effort.  I spend much less time crying, and I enjoy my life normally.  _Chris…_   Flopping onto my bed, I set my mind on the issue at hand.

              I am aware that I am not the smartest person, but I will approach this seriously.  Chris is an important piece of my life and losing her would be awful.  She was so serious when we talked.  Serious, and desperate.  It showed on her face, in her shaking hands and her trembling voice.  Chris is so certain that I will abandon her.  That hurts but blaming her is not an option.  Wrapped up in myself, I was unaware that she was going through any of this, while she did her best to hide it.  _“Your smile means everything to me.”_   I roll onto my back as I ponder.

              _How long has she felt like this?_   Chris left out that detail, but I feel like “a while” is the best answer.  She is difficult to figure out at the best of times, though I have noticed her rare bouts of pain and depression, when she thought my attention occupied.  Knowing that Chris invests so much of herself in my happiness is flattering, but what of her own happiness?  I find it unfair.  Chris gives me so much of her time and heart, yet she is convinced that the happiness she wants is beyond her reach.  Using that reason for my answer is out of the question.  “It’s unfair” is too shallow, not serious enough.

              I need to think about this differently but am unsure how.  I want to help Chris, but my normal methods are useless.  _I_ am a large part of the problem, yet also part of the solution, and conquering this problem with fists is impossible.  With this being well outside of my expertise, I cannot find a good approach.  Rejecting Chris will surely crush her.  Even if we manage, somehow, to remain friends, being around me will probably be painful.  At the same time, if I accept without really understanding, we could both be hurt in the long term.  That pain could be worse than an outright rejection.  I run circles around the issue all night and into the next day.

              I have no luck reaching an answer and am scolded more than usual due to my lack of focus.  I wish to avoid asking for advice, but my progress is too slow.  My normal friends in Lydian are not a good option.  Chris is still nervous around them, so revealing her struggles to them feels wrong.  Master might be able to help, but I will avoid bothering him unless necessary.  That leaves Tsubasa-san.  She knows Chris well enough, and I respect her a lot, both as a person and as my senior.  I wait until the next day and catch Tsubasa-san outside her classroom.

              “Tachibana?”  Her surprise is obvious.  “What are you doing here?  Lately, you and Yukine have been inseparable.”

              “I actually want to talk with you about Chris, Tsubasa-san.”  Her expression becomes concerned, and she excuses herself from her classmates.  Leaning close, she speaks softly.

              “If this is about what I think, we need to be somewhere private.”  Though terribly confused, I follow my friend to her room.  I wince slightly as I enter.  She is getting better, but Tsubasa-san is still an untidy person.  The condition of her room suggests a small tornado paid a visit.  Still, it is better than the first time I came here.  Tsubasa-san offers a chair, and I sit as she chooses the seat opposite mine.

              “Tsubasa-san, do you know something?”  My curiosity overflows, now that we are alone.  She tents her fingers and answers.

              “I am unsure.  If this is about what I think, then yes; if not, then no.”  Confused again, I decide to speak.

              “Um… this might sound strange, but I’m not sure what I should do.  Chris told me that she loves me, and I don’t know how I should answer her.”  Tsubasa-san groans loudly.  “Tsubasa-san?”

              “How did I know?”  Her voice is resigned.  “Somehow, I am caught up in this mess again…”  Tsubasa-san mutters to herself for a few moments before addressing me once more.  “What did you tell her?”

              “I asked Chris to give me some time, so I can think about this seriously.”  I shuffle nervously.  “It is _kinda_ my fault that this happened, and she’s an important friend.”

              “What do you mean?”  I tell Tsubasa-san of how I was angry with Chris for avoiding me, and how I drove her into a corner.  “I see.”  Closing her eyes, she thinks for a moment before opening them.  “Asking for time was a good move, but you must not take too long.”  I nod my understanding.  “What are _your_ thoughts on this matter, Tachibana?”

              “I don’t understand it very well.”  Tsubasa-san’s sigh speaks her thoughts:  _I thought so._   Indignant, I continue.  “I may not understand, but I think Chris is being unfair to herself.”  That catches her attention.  “Chris gives so much of herself to ensure I’m happy, yet she is convinced that she can’t have her own happiness.  Chris is afraid that I’m going to leave her, and I don’t know how I’m supposed to help…”  My heart hurts.  I want to help my friend so badly, but I have no way to do so.  “I don’t want to hurt her.  Chris has been hurt enough.”

              “Avoiding that may be impossible.”  Tsubasa-san’s words are harsh, but they carry truth.  “Tachibana, you must be honest with her.”  Her stern eyes lock mine in place.  “If you do not believe you can reciprocate, rejecting her is your only option.  Living a lie benefits neither of you.”

              “I know that.”  I clench my hands in frustration.  Frustration with myself, with my uselessness in this situation.  “It’s just… I don’t understand what Chris wants from me, what her love means, or why it’s different than what I feel for her…”  I ignore the tears falling to hit my fists.  My own sadness can wait.  “She’s very important to me, so I _want_ to understand.”

              “Tachibana.”  Tsubasa-san catches my attention.  “I can help, but minimally, since every individual is different.”  She breathes deep before speaking.  “I believe that Yukine’s love for you is romantic love,” _Eh?_ “and I believe that, if possible, she wishes to spend the rest of her life by your side.”  _Eeeeh?_   “Whether she desires anything beyond that, I cannot say.  However, I do know this:  _you_ are the key to her happiness right now.”  Tsubasa-san’s words strike home, rendering me speechless.

              My brain eventually restarts after receiving that shock.  “Tsubasa-san, how do you…”

              “Yukine asked me for advice on this very subject some time ago.”  Tsubasa-san’s voice grows reflective.  “She was torn and confused, but she was so animated when speaking of you.  I was rather rude at the time, and I think that may have affected her negatively.”  She becomes serious again.  “Tachibana, what do _you_ want?  What do _you_ wish for in this situation?”

              Those are difficult questions if I allow myself to think too hard.  I decide to not think, and answer with the first thoughts that come to mind.  “I wish for Chris to be happy, and I want to understand her love.”  Nodding, Tsubasa-san follows her questions with another.

              “Do you have a plan?”

              I answer, my tone as serious as possible, “Not at all.”  Tsubasa-san _still_ rolls her eyes at me.

              “You never change, Tachibana.”  I sulk.  _Everyone is so mean to me._   “Although, I _can_ tell you that one method of learning is having someone teach you.”  My eyes light up, and Tsubasa-san quickly waves me down.  “Not me, but I know who can.”

              “Who?”  I am eager to know, to learn what Chris’ love means.

              “Yukine.”  I instantly deflate at Tsubasa-san’s matter-of-fact response.  _Of course_ , it would be Chris.  “Tachibana, each individual’s love is different.  Yukine is the only one able to teach you what her love means.”  She exhales a heavy sigh.  “Frankly, you _could_ do worse.  If nothing else, Yukine is very dedicated to you.”  Her gaze meets the ceiling.  “Haaah… What am I doing?  Promoting unconventional love between my juniors…”  Tsubasa-san mutters to herself for a while, while I am lost in my thoughts.

              Tsubasa-san has one thing right:  Chris _is_ very dedicated to me, and if she is the only one able to teach me about her love, asking is my only option.  Chris has been through so much.  I want her to enjoy her life and be happy.  If that means I need to step outside my comfort zone to learn something new, then I will gladly do it.  Thanking Tsubasa-san for her time, I return to my room.  I need a few days to sort everything, but I know one thing for certain:  Chris deserves some time to have fun and forget her worries.


End file.
